The college basketball landscape is a vast, vast countryside with rolling meadows, open plains, treacherous cliffs, and other various biomes ripe for hyperbole. 35seconds would like to help everyone explore this random land of wonderment by bringing to light some lesser known programs. Whether they have bracket-busting aspirations, interesting back stories, or just give good mascot, there’s always room for some mid-major lovin’.

Oakland University Golden Grizzlies (5-6, 1-1) RPI: 207, unranked

Notable Wins: Bowling Green

Notable Losses: at MSU, at Xavier, at Michigan

The Oakland Grizzlies are usually a staple of every midwestern tuneup schedule. Located in Rochester, Michigan and NOT the San Francisco Bay Area, the Golden Grizzlies have confused their fair share of uninformed freshman throughout the years. Led by coach Greg Kampe, Oakland U has one trip to the dance (2005) under their belts, and got the privlege of having North Carolina stomp on their face 96-68. Junior forward Derick Nelson leads the team in points and rebounds per game, just shy of a nightly double-double with 20-8. Sophomore guard Johnathan Jones leads with 6 assists per game. The Golden Grizzlies face a tough challenge in the Summit League, having to overcome the Oral Roberts, IUIPUIs, and IPFWs to get the conferences lone bid. This Saturday they have a chance to drastically improve their RPI when Oregon stops by for a visit.

St. Mary’s College of California Gaels (7-1, 0-0) RPI: 1, unrkanked

Notable wins: Oregon, Seton Hall, SDSU

Notable losses: at Southern Ill.

That RPI#1 is probably a bit deceptive given the small sample size an omission of the SIU loss, but the Gaels have a fine shot at the West Coast Conference if they can assert themselves against Gonzaga and Santa Clara. The Gaels’ junior forward Diamon Simpson averages 12.6 pts/game with 8 rebounds with the help of four Australian imports, juniors Ben Allen, Carlin Hughes, and Lucas Walker alongside freshman standout Patrick Mills (15.5 pts/game). Head Coach Randy Bennett certainly hopes to contend for a second bid from the WCC, if not win the conference outright. St. Mary’s 2005 team was the first WCC member to make the tournament as an at-large, and there’s a chance they can do it again. The Gaels travel to Austin to take on #5 Texas January 5th before starting conference play three days later at Fresno State.

Contributor StutterStep posts his thoughts on Dick Vitale’s throat surgery. He will contributing regularly, American Gladiators-watching permitting.

Now that the man has come out the other side of surgery squeaky clean and smelling of moth balls, we feel it’s appropriate to comment on Dick Vitale (out: throat). But damn was that a looong few hours.

We first learned that everyone’s favorite verbal BJ artist was taking medical leave from broadcasting hoops at ESPN via his online letter to fans only to be reassured hours later that he was a-ok after having ulcers treated on his throat. What a roller coaster of a day. Finally, America can go on about its business.

Still, a few matters need to be cleared up before we can emotionally pick up the pieces here at thirtyfiveseconds.com.

When will he return to the booth? Vitale’s aiming for an early-February recovery. We can’t help but look ahead at the ol’ calendar to reveal that the season’s first Duke-Carolina tilt is Feb. 6. We sincerely hope, for his sake and ours, that he isn’t rushing himself back into the lineup for this reason. Please, Dick, no Pettite-like HGH-aided rehab on our account. We’re not doctors or anything, but we can’t imagine that coming off vocal cord surgery to call a game he spends every other game he broadcasts getting himself excited about is a good idea. But what the fuck do we know? It’d just be a shame to have to watch Dick’s mouth bleed in those overly intense Duke-UNC highlight montages for the next 10 years.

How many times will Dick heap praise upon Dr. Steven Zeitels on the air for getting him back to health? Well, assuming an early-February return that leaves him with about six weeks of games before the Tourney. Based on that, let’s see, carry the 4, adjust the decimal … 2,843,120,385,499,716,657,922,183,207. Feel free to double-check our math.

Who in the hell will provide positive reinforcement for Doris Burke? It never ceases to amaze how Dick talks to his colleague and sideline reporter every time she, gasp, does her job and provides a piece of reporting. “Oh, Doris Burke! She really does her homework! What a great story, Doris! Way to hold the microphone and stand upright at the same time, Doris!” Either Doris is the most insecure co-worker in history, or Dick is the most patronizing SOB alive. Based on a preponderance of evidence, we’re going with the latter, and guessing that Doris won’t burst into tears when she isn’t patted on the head like a 3-year-old every time she speaks.

Will the nationwide Duke-hating phenomenon die down to pre-Laettner levels? It’s bound to without constantly nauseating the public for the next two months.

What will his partner Dan Shulman do with all that newfound airtime? In the past, Shulman has had to use what little time to speak he got to baby-sit his partner. But now that he won’t have to repeatedly steer Dick’s jabbering back onto the game that’s two feet in front of their faces, Shulman will be free to do his job.

How will we know where Dick ate for dinner? When he’s not spitting out old-man shout-outs to coaches, other broadcasters, anyone who’s ever set foot on Duke or Notre Dame’s campuses, and local sportswriters, he’s praising the Italian joint he dined at the night before. Luckily, Dick writes, “I will be updating my Web site with basketball tidbits concerning the various teams, players and coaches during my rehabilitation process.” Since his knowledge of college basketball after 1993 roughly amounts to what someone tells him during timeouts, we can only assume he’ll use that space to keep us abreast of what shape of pasta he choked on last night.

What will you miss most during Dick’s absence? Let us hear it in the comments.