Damn stereotypes!  

Last night the Arizona Wildcats faced a tough test from Rene and the rest of the Fabulous Rougeau Brothers  on the UNLV roster. It’s amazing how quickly Kevin O’Neill can turn a group of explosive offensive players into absolute dog shit, but hey, the guy is a master. Jordan Hill was dominant again with 16 points and 19 rebounds. Then he raped the shit out of Bill Brasky, Chuck Norris, and Tim Tebow at the same time.

Arizona 52 – UNLV 49 

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The real SCLSU.

Coach Klein must have really coached up Nicholls State (south central Louisiana’s finest institution of higher learning with majors ranging from alchemy to taxidermy) because those plucky bastards managed to hang with UNC for the full 40 minutes. For some reason Roy Williams was greatly displeased by this outcome, and the players will pay the price. Huckleberry Hound told the media that his goal for the subsequent practice would be “to see how many guys I can make throw up.” Always the teacher’s pet, Tyler Hansbrough headbutted a cameraman’s knee and chugged a bottle of Ipecac while pleading his coach to watch him set the example. The concussed pre-season POY (*cough*my ass*cough*) led the way for the Heels with 27 and 11 to go along with his 4 awkward flexes.

UNC 88 – Nicholls State 78 

A Rose by any other name would have sweet tits.

Freshman sensation Derrick Rose might be pretty good at this whole basketball thing. The Final Four-bound Memphis Tigers moved to 9-0 behind Rose’s “career” high of 27 points at the expense of Mick Cronin’s (fake name?) Cincinnati Bearcats. The former Huggins assistant has some talent, but he’s just too damn sober to put it all together.

Memphis 79 – Cincinnati 69