Since he’s coming off vocal cord surgery, we thought it would be a perfect time to interview respected commentator and basketball legend Dick Vitale. We spoke with Vitale earlier today.

35S: Dick, we’re just starting to get into the heart of the season. What can you say you know about college basketball 2007–2008 at this point?

Dick: ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(He reaches for a notepad and a pen.)

35S: Oh, don’t bother Dick. I understood that completely. I can’t imagine that anyone in college basketball has killed more pedestrians than Huggins. I mean, being in the car does not necessarily make you an accomplice, even if you did help wipe the blood off the dashboard. Watch out for the hair in the grill next time! Those guys can get your credit card number off fiber and hair samples. At least they do on CSI. Who knew all lab techs were so hot?

Dick:…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

35S: That was shocking. Who’d have imagined Michigan losing to Harvard like that? Are we going to see a season of upsets?

Dick: (Gesturing gets even more frantic.)

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

35S: I know, I know. The taste of Coach K’s balls is more savory than sweet, like charcuterie on a sunny French picnic, and best consumed with a light rose. We totally agree with that call. Thanks for the interview, we know you’re busy.

Dick Vitale is currently recuperating from vocal cord surgery. Yes, he actually had vocal cord left to operate on, you nob.