John Calipari worked out slumping junior guard Chris Douglas-Roberts personally during the week leading up to Memphis’ nonconference game with Georgetown. And in doing so, John Calipari not only toughened up Douglas Roberts and helped him turn in a stellar 24 point performance against the Hoyas, he TURNED HIM INTO A HERMAPHRODITE.

“For the first 30 minutes, he whined like he was exhausted,” Calipari said. “There were sounds coming out of him that I didn’t know if he were a female or a male.”

If John Calipari has difficulty distinguishing between the two, he’s either been coaching a WNBA team on the sly, or his love life is far more interesting than previously thought.


“He’s long, strong, and his ball skills and ability to penetrate are unbelievable.