The college basketball landscape is a vast, vast countryside with rolling meadows, open plains, treacherous cliffs, and other various biomes ripe for hyperbole. 35seconds would like to help everyone explore this random land of wonderment by bringing to light some lesser known programs. Whether they have bracket-busting aspirations, interesting back stories, or just give good mascot, there’s always room for some mid-major lovin’.

Morehead State Eagles (4-7, 2-2)-RPI: 292, currently unranked

Notable Wins: Western Illinois, Eastern Illinois, Alice Lloyd College

Notable Losses: at Bowling Green, at Oklahoma, at Louisville

Nestled twixt the foothills of the Daniel Boone National Park in Rowan County, the town of Morehead Kentucky is home to the Eagles of the Ohio Valley Conference. Known for little more than its unfortunate moniker, the co-educational university was named to US News And World Report’s “Top 25 Schools in the South” and is also home to one of only four colleges to offer degrees in “space science.” Notable alumni include game show hosting legend Chuck Woolery (outfits furnished by Botany 500), former football Giants quarterback Phil Simms, and Hannah Montana’s dad. Coached by Donnie Tyndall, Eagles class of ‘93, the squad lost almost all of their experience from last season. Only four players on the current roster have played D-I minutes. Led by senior guard Nikola Stojakovic (7 assists/game) , Morehead State looks to get the ball to its young offensive talents, sophomore Maze Stallworth (13 points/3 rebounds per game) and freshman Kenneth Faried (10/7). Junior transfer Lee Simmons should also bring his experience into the mix at forward. To get to the dance, Morehead will have to get past SE Missouri St. and Austin Peay in the OVC and improve on last year’s RPI of 133.

Wichita State Shockers (7-4, 0-0)-RPI: 117, currently unranked

Notable wins: Illinois-Chicago, LSU, UAB

Notable Losses: Baylor, at Monmouth

It was only a matter of time before our duty to sophomoric humor brought us to the Shockers. Located in Wichita, Kansas and named after a farming term for wheat harvesting, WSU has fast won over the hearts and minds of hipster basketball fans everywhere with their mid-major pluckiness and pop-culture hand signal. While the university openly discourages the use of the “traditional shocker” as seen in more lurid contexts by its cheerleaders and fans, the association still proudly exists in the free-spirited underbelly of the campus pep culture. Notable Shocker alumni include former Toronto Blue Jay Joe Carter and the WWE’s Big Show, Paul Wight. Led by senior forwards PJ Cousinard and Phillip Thomasson (each avg 11pts/game), WSU remains focused on senior leadership and experience. Fellow senior Matt Braeuer also contributes 10 points a night with 4 assists. The Shockers bring their blogtastic hand signals to Missouri Valley Conference play this Saturday, hosting their first game against Drake University. WSU will have to harvest their way past the Bulldogs as well as Creighton, Illinois State, UNI, Bradley, and SIU if they want to get out of the formidable MVC.

Scorers tables: holding up drunk invalid coaches for fifty years.

Coach Eddie Sutton is returning to the bench just two wins shy of the magic arbitrary number of 800. But the legendary drunk/pillhead isn’t returning to the familiar environs of Stillwater where his son now reigns. Instead Sutton will be taking over the job for the San Francisco Dons. After being introduced by some girly AD Sutton addressed the small media gathering.

“I’d like to thank Mrs. Debra MannBearPig for this opportunity to return to the college game that I love so much. I really think this is the beginning of something special for the San Francisco Dons. I’m incredibly excited to be coaching such fantastic young student-athletes as KC Jones, Bill Russel, lil’ Fred Scolari. Frankly I was a bit surprised that such a great job opportunity would present itself at this point in the season, but I’m not here to ask questions. I’m here to drink gin and coach basketball, and I’m all outta gin!”

Coach Sutton falls off the podium.

Well this should certainly be fun. We’re setting the over/under on number of games it takes to win two games at 12.