My, how ribald a blind item can be!!

WHICH SEC COACH has been seen recruiting at juvenile detention centers all over the southeast?

( …most of em…)

WHICH BIG EAST COACH refuses to implement the Triangle 2 defense because it’s “too faggy”?

WHICH FORMER GEORGETOWN COACH was recently forced to resign from his position as girl’s softball coach at a Washington area elementary school?

WHICH PRINCETON COACH wants to run his own motherfucking offense for once?

WHICH BIG EAST COACH eats his polish sausage in one bite without a bun or any sort of utensils?

WHICH BIG EAST COACH is simultaneously running the largest crime family in Philadelphia?

(Jay Wright…SHHHHHH!)

WHICH PAC 10 COACH thinks that AIDS can be transmitted through your dreams?

And for a bonus…BLIND ITEMS REVEALED!!!

WHAT IVY LEAGUE COACH…has every episode of “A different World” on VHS?

Blind item revealed! It’s Tommy Amaker.

WHAT C-USA COACH…appears in the World of Warcraft as a dwarf mage named Thundercock?

Blind item revealed! It’s John Calipari.

WHAT Big Ten Coach is prominently featured in a 1992 issue of High Times magazine?

Blind item revealed! It’s Thad Matta.

WHAT SEC COACH is best known for his cameo appearance on 1980s syndicated serial “Small Wonder?”

Blind Item revealed! Billy Donovan, who played Jamie’s robot “half-brother” in the 1984 episode “Half-brother Half-machine”

WHAT BASKETBALL ANNOUNCER is wanted for war crimes and tax fraud in South Africa in connection with his time as a mercenary in Angola in the 1970s and 80s?

Blind Item Revealed! It’s Dick Vitale.

Biowarfare, babeeee!