They’ve gone to plaid!

THE GAME EVERYONE WAS TALKING ABOUT (SORT OF)

Man, I’m Getting Sick of Orange
Clemson 79, Miami (FL) 69

Orange and purple. Orange and green. Thank God neither of these teams were wearing their alternate jerseys, or I would have spent most of the game wondering if I had accidentally taken acid and vomited all over my television. (Because that’s what acid does, friends. You get sick, but even the sickness is trippy.)

Clemson led by as much as 21 in the first half, but managed to fall behind with seven minutes to go in the game. Efficient shooting (over 50% from the floor, over 60% from deep) and solid defense allowed them to close the deal. The win gives the Tigers their first season at or above .500 in ACC play since Rick Barnes patrolled their sidelines in the late ’90s. (He must actually dig the orange.) The U needs to close strong to stay in the at-large hunt, since they have only one road win against a likely tournament team (Mississippi State) and none in conference.

TWO OTHER STORIES, JUST FOR KICKS

Midshipmen Accused of Anti-American Sentiment
Navy 83, American 68

Honestly, I just wanted to write about this one for the pun in the tagline.

What? Oh, fine. Bully for the Middies, who now can clinch a Patriot League Championship banner with a win or tAU loss on Saturday. (Redeemable for one free cup of coffee, offer ends after conference tournament when regular season title becomes worthless.) As a proud Georgetown alum, I can’t help but pity tAU as they risk missing the tournament for the forever-th straight year. Poor, poor tAU. Stuck with an annoying definite article in their formal name … practically located in Maryland … wait, what do you mean they have their own Metro stop? Spoiled jerks.

In Heaven, The Protestant Jesus Chuckles
Mid-Major Catholic Schools Go 1-4 on Wednesday

Serves me right for gettin’ all uppity. Holy Cross and St. Bonaventure lost at home in meaningless games. Creighton dropped a key game to Illinois State, destroying any chance they had at an at-large (but helping the Redbirds’ case.) La Salle was the only Catholic mid-major to pull out a win last night … by beating the Jesuits of Fordham. QEDMF.

THREE GAMES I SHOULD CARE ABOUT, BUT DON’T

1985 Final Four, It Ain’t
#11 Georgetown 64, St. John’s 52

We love us some Princeton offense, because it enables white people not named Kevin Love to look talented on a basketball court, and because we like to think that kids at other Ivy League schools are pissed that the Jersey Boys got an offense named after them. The scheme requires energy to work, though - and you can forgive Georgetown for sleepwalking through a home game against a Johnnies squad coming off a 30 point whooping by Duke. So look past the missed dunks and lazy offense, and wait to judge the Hoyas until their next two games against Marquette and Louisville.

Maybe Conference Play Does Matter
Kentucky 58, Ole Miss 54

At the start of SEC conference play on January 9th, the Rebels were ranked #15 after starting 13-0 thanks to a schedule in which Clemson and Winthrop were “reach” wins. Seven weeks and a 4-9 conference record later, Lunardi has them out of the tournament field in his latest projections. Rudy Guiliani appreciates that kind of national puffery followed by regional failure. Accordingly, Ole Miss endorsed Kentucky for tournament selection after the loss, saying the Wildcats were the team they would have played for if they had been good enough to play in Lexington instead of Oxford.

Yao’s Injury Not a Problem for Houston
Houston 95, Southern Miss 67

We want to believe that C-USA doesn’t completely and utterly suck from top to bottom. We want to. We don’t. Why not? Because a team in that conference actually employs Matt Doherty as a head coach.

Doherty demonstrates how he likes his teams to play.

FOUR GAMES WORTH ONE LINE APIECE

#6 Duke 71, Georgia Tech 58: In a battle to determine whose graduate institution reigns supreme, my Durham Douches whip Orson’s Atlanta Apathies eight ways ’til Sunday.

GW 85, Rhode Island 68: At least one D.C. school beat an opponent with a ram for a mascot.

West Virginia 85, DePaul 73: Right now, Rich Rodriguez is hoping that his move from WfVU to Michigan looks a LOT better after year one than John Beilein’s does.

Nebraska 63, Oklahoma 45: Sooner players roll over in solidarity with former coach Sampson; Greek wives.