Justice and Titan defend the Pyramid.

THE GAME EVERYONE TALKED ABOUT (SORT OF)

What? Football Season Already?
Ohio State 80, #15 Purdue 77 (OT)

Big win for the Buckeyes, who hold onto their slim hopes of losing in the first round of the tournament. (Hey, they are better off than the team they lost to in the championship game last year - I think Florida is still swimming in a vat of Billy Donovan’s hair grease.) But their coaches name is still Thad. Thad, people.

Meanwhile, we just don’t care. We tried. We watched. We know that this was the best of the games involving big conference teams. It was still a snooze fest. We’re sorry. Big Ten basketball is just brutal.

THE GAME YOU SHOULD HAVE WATCHED INSTEAD

Let’s Blow This Popsicle Stand
Tennessee-Martin 101, Samford 94 (3OT)

Holy shit - conference tournaments started already? What the hell? I knew that Cornell clinched the Ivy League title already, but those nerds always do shit way early. Where are we? Who is this? Where’s the tapioca?

OK - time to actually pay attention to these little tournaments to figure out which teams can pull first round upsets, and which ones are just fun to laugh at. Tennessee-Martin: just fun to laugh at. Minor league-tastic nickname? Check (SkyHawks). Record hovering around .500? Check (17-15). Likely to get steamrolled by conference frontrunner tomorrow night? Check (Austin Peay). Thanks for playing, UT-M. Please collect your consolation prize at the door.

Samford, upon losing the game, pulled a classic kids’ move by taking their ball and going home … to the SoCon, which they’ll be joining next year. Samford spent only three years in the Ohio Valley, which they joined after bailing on the Atlantic Sun. The small Alabama school announced plans to change their name to Dennis University, as both Franchione and Erickson approve such conference-hopping.

We’re still new at the new photo editing thing. Give us a break.

TWO MORE STORYLINES, JUST FOR KICKS

Oakland Would Like Its Cred Back - Wright State 60, Detroit 37

Wright State will still need to get through Butler and win the Horizon to make their way to the tournament in all likelihood - but did you honestly expect us to pass up a playoff matchup between the Raiders and a school with Mercy in its title? (Assuming you can get past the idea of said Mercy school being in Detroit. Damn right. You’ll need it.)

We can’t think of a single city in America that deserves Raiders as a mascot less than Dayton. Nothing against the fine people of Gem City, but based on our experiences there, any and all Raiders would be offered copious amounts of cookies and milk. They would be domesticated, given good jobs at Huffy Bicycles, then armed to the teeth because that’s just how western Ohio rolls. (O-H!)

A Non-Comedic But Fitting Non-Finale - Virginia Tech 80, Wake Forest 58

The season isn’t officially over for either of these schools (though barring a conference tournament miracle, it pretty much is), but we mention this game for obvious non-comedic reasons. We are on record as hating all athletic teams from VPI, but no doubt this season was played under a cloud. Same for the young team down in Winston, many of whose players attended the funeral for the coach that recruited them months before their first Midnight Madness. Reality is a bitch, and though neither of these teams is likely to make the Dance, a hat tip to both.