From the sources developed over hours seconds of hard work by Eirishis and Orson, Thirtyfive Seconds is proud to announce the return of Blind Item Thursday!

WHICH PAC-10 HEAD COACH spent his adolescent years living the mean streets of South Central with only bread, water, and the ability to coax older and larger young felons to set pick as means to survive?

WHICH HORIZON LEAGUE COACH refused to take a call from a BCS conference school last week, saying that he was perfectly happy where he was and, why, no, he doesn’t need a few million dollars?

WHO IS THE MOUNTAIN WEST PLAYER that plans to leave school as soon as the season is over, not for the NBA, but to serve as a missionary to the heathen land of New York?

(… might well be all of them …)

WHICH MISSOURI VALLEY COACH spends his days figuring out ways to hack iTunes?

WHICH SEC COACH offered to lead his state’s National Guard in a border war if necessary?

(… is there any doubt?? …)

And now as a special bonus – BLIND ITEMS REVEALED!

WHO IS FORMER BIG TEN STAR will appear as the star of an erotic legal fiction series in an attempt to rehab his image in the public eye?

Revealed! It’s Isiah Thomas.

What, too soon? (HT on pic: Thomas.)

WHICH BIG EAST COACH, when pressed by his five year old nephew, told him A COMPLETELY INCORRECT AND UNFACTUAL ANSWER to the question “Why is the sky blue?”

Revealed! It’s Tom Crean of Marquette.

Because I commanded it, Timmy. Now go get Uncle Tom a Diet Pepsi.

WHICH ANNOUNCER once served in the MERCHANT MARINE AS A CRUSTY BUT LOVABLE NAVIGATOR before turning to a career in television following a savage PIRATE ATTACK?

Revealed! It’s Doris Burke of ESPN.

Servitude brought unspeakable acts. Do not ask.

THE GAME EVERYONE TALKED ABOUT (SORT OF)

Too Good to Mock? Nah!
#16 Vanderbilt 86, Mississippi St. 85 (OT)

[shuffles through note cards] Say, did you hear the one about the NERDS from Nashville? [more shuffling as chorus of boos starts] I’m sure I’ve got SOMETHING in here … [ducks bottles thrown at stage] Hey, give me a break, like YOU expected f’in Vanderbilt to be the lead story twice in as many weeks?!

Tough to make fun after they played some fine ass basketball in Nashville last night. 50%-plus shooting from the Bulldogs wasn’t enough, even though the visitors held leads in the waning seconds of both regulation and overtime. The difference, as usual, was 3-point shooting and free throws; Vandy nailed 40% of their shots from long distance (MSU = 21%) and sank every last free throw while the Bulldogs missed 13 out of 28.

Vandy swingman Shan Foster was a machine, but it didn’t look that way at the start. After missing his first six shots from behind the arc, Foster would make the next nine – including the shots that would extend and later win the game. Foster scored nearly as many points (42) as the rest of the team combined (44) – not surprising if you consider that his fellow castaways shot 27% without him. If you can guard Foster, it’s game-set-match. Unfortunately, only one team has shown they can do that so far this year …

TWO OTHER STORIES, JUST FOR KICKS

You Can’t Spell “FUCK!” Without UF
#4 Tennessee 89, Florida 86

… so prepare for our Vanderbilt overlords, because the sound you heard coming out of Gainesville last night was the angry packing of NIT-bound bags by the only team that could stop Shan Foster consistently. That, or it was the sound of UF undergrads consoling themselves with hot coitus. Ah, college: where cheap beer and attractive, available women can soothe any pain. (It’s moments like these we’re glad our father knows the URL for this site. Hi, Dad!)

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