From the sources developed over hours seconds of hard work by Eirishis and Orson, Thirtyfive Seconds is proud to announce the return of Blind Item Thursday!

WHICH PAC-10 HEAD COACH spent his adolescent years living the mean streets of South Central with only bread, water, and the ability to coax older and larger young felons to set pick as means to survive?

WHICH HORIZON LEAGUE COACH refused to take a call from a BCS conference school last week, saying that he was perfectly happy where he was and, why, no, he doesn’t need a few million dollars?

WHO IS THE MOUNTAIN WEST PLAYER that plans to leave school as soon as the season is over, not for the NBA, but to serve as a missionary to the heathen land of New York?

(… might well be all of them …)

WHICH MISSOURI VALLEY COACH spends his days figuring out ways to hack iTunes?

WHICH SEC COACH offered to lead his state’s National Guard in a border war if necessary?

(… is there any doubt?? …)

And now as a special bonus – BLIND ITEMS REVEALED!

WHO IS FORMER BIG TEN STAR will appear as the star of an erotic legal fiction series in an attempt to rehab his image in the public eye?

Revealed! It’s Isiah Thomas.

What, too soon? (HT on pic: Thomas.)

WHICH BIG EAST COACH, when pressed by his five year old nephew, told him A COMPLETELY INCORRECT AND UNFACTUAL ANSWER to the question “Why is the sky blue?”

Revealed! It’s Tom Crean of Marquette.

Because I commanded it, Timmy. Now go get Uncle Tom a Diet Pepsi.

WHICH ANNOUNCER once served in the MERCHANT MARINE AS A CRUSTY BUT LOVABLE NAVIGATOR before turning to a career in television following a savage PIRATE ATTACK?

Revealed! It’s Doris Burke of ESPN.

Servitude brought unspeakable acts. Do not ask.