THE STORY EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT
Shark Week Continues

Privately, we hoped that in our day off (done with school woot!), the O.J. Mayo mess would calm down, and some other story would take over the headlines. We weren’t alone – in a small act of sanity, Ben Taylor at the Daily Bruin says, “Um, don’t all of you have anything better to cover, like college athletes dying in practice?”

NO! Silly us. Each minute factual revelation merely served to throw more chum in the water, which inevitably leads to nastiness.

On Tuesday, the attacks centered on Mayo and the USC leadership. As the story ages however, like a fine wine, more subtle variables gain strength to create layers of flavor for the well-heeled to snoot about.

Signal to Noise points out that USC may pay a price in recruiting long before sanctions come down. His local paper says Mayo has daddy issues (like any good southern boy). Wilbon says Mayo is a sweet kid caught up in the dirty system of agents. DeCourcy over at the SN goes a step further and says the entire sport of basketball is broken. (Though DeCourcy’s piece is less “subtle flavor brought out by age” and more “what happens when you toss the bottle against the wall in disgust, because the world is death.” Let it all out, Mike. Why, oh why did Celeste leave you and take both le chat and all the zigerettes?)

But at least O.J. and his former compadres won’t lose a high school title over this mess.

We’ve been asked our opinion, but we don’t view this as a forum for our “take” – we offer commentary only to be funny or make a valid point, and we’re so sick of this topic we’re not sure we can do either. We’ll try better tomorrow.

We now move onto to non-O.J. topics – but first, twins.

FOUR STORIES WORTH ONE LINE APIECE

Terrapin Player Struggles to Make the Grade – We’re normally above mocking the academic struggles of athletes, but since it’s Maryland, home of the waiting-to-happen academic suspension, we let out a hearty Muntz-esque “ha-ha.”

It’s Possible, Since We Haven’t Heard of Any of Them – Bleacher Report lists their five players poised for a breakout season.

Insofar as it means anything, good on them – Coaching contract extensions have become meaningless pats on the back since either party can break them seemingly at will, but Clemson wins points anyway for extending Oliver Purnell.

Need to stop reading … going to start liking him … – Dickie V is throwing his usual V Foundation fundraiser in Florida, which regularly raises more than $1 million – but this year, he’s dedicating the ceremony to the memory of a little girl who died of cancer.

We swear, we aren’t usually this emotional, it’s just lack of sleep … need something manly to make up for this …