As we close out our last week in academia for at least good long while, we take a few minutes to peer around the other campuses of this fine nation.

Today’s them music is less music and more battery, for the enjoyment of the Japanese reality viewer:

Top billing properly goes to Charles at Fanhouse, who plucked a gem off YouTube of Bobby Knight giving hiring advice to Florida Atlantic’s AD. Click on over to check it out (we believe in spreading the love). Best line by far: “Rick Majerus has a lot of bullshit.” And shit made of many other substances, because Rick Majerus, you see, is very fat.

Loathe as we are to give any credit to men in orange, we respect genius where we see it. A plan to reorganize the Big East to prepare for Memphis’ totally-not-happening entry - one division for the old Big East, one for all the “East” teams added under Mike Tranghese’s leadership - qualifies. The boys at Troy Nunes is an Absolute Magician are awarded point, and not just for having a blog named after a mediocre quarterback from six years ago.

We haven’t started to prep for the NBA draft yet, mostly because we don’t buy into tWWL’s system of “two months hype + two minutes actual content = profit”, but Rakes of Mallow makes an interesting observation - the early declare list for the draft is oddly bereft of Big East players. Outside of addition-by-subtraction Derrick Caracter, no Big East player has declared and hired an agent. This trend is made easier when the conference only has enough talent to beat Duke, but not enough to beat Siena and Davidson. (Not that we’re bitter.)

Oddly silent are the Kansas blogs, in the wake of reports that center Darrell Arthur needed good ol’ fashioned cheatin’ improper academic assistance to keep from failing high school. RTC notes that the allegations probably won’t affect KU, but still - you’d think they’d chime in on this, right? What happened to blogs being about speed and cruelty?

We’re off for the weekend, per usual - but we’ll be back on Monday, with this site being 100% more lawyerly.

It’s a big honor to be inducted into the North Carolina Hall of Fame - truly, I’m honored to be here. When you are the coach of a Division III program, you have to keep your expectations realistic. Can’t get ahead of yourself.

Good buffet here tonight. Don’t see too much todo like this at Guilford.

Anyway, thank you for the honor, but I don’t know about this “overcoming all odds” talk. It’s not like I’m that Pistorius guy.

Sure, I recruited three future NBA players to a small, NAIA school in central North Carolina, and won a national title in the ’70s. But every squirrel finds a nut - and let me tell you, World B. Free was one hell of a nut. But it was a different era. You could convince a guy to leave the big city for a small school without handing over tens of thousands of dollars in illegal payments. Didn’t have that kind of money at Guilford. All we offered was good coaching, a great education, and all the moonshine and co-eds you could handle. It was a simpler time, really.

And yeah, I coached a couple of teams to golf national championships as well, even though I don’t know much about golf. Doesn’t seem like a big deal. Guilford needed to cut the budget, so I tried to help out where I could. I always say that a good coach can coach anything. Tried to prove it once by taking over a cock-fighting ring during a mission trip in Guatamala a few years back. We were only there for a few weeks, but with tough practices and good motivation, I had Señor Garra winning every match he fought. It’s just a matter of getting through to the kids - or animals, whatever.

So yeah - proud to be here tonight, but I just took what life gave me. You can do the same.

(Ed. - In all seriousness, coaching two sports to championships at any level? What a badass. Read the profile.)

No Christmas in Memphis this year.

THE STORY EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT
When Looking East Mean Going West.
Our father’s favorite phrase in our youth? “Never let the facts get in the way of a good story.” Useful for a budding lawya, sure, but more useful still for rumor mongering in the off-season.

Late Wednesday, a local reporter in Memphis reported on his blog (journalists! blogs! mass hysteria!) that Memphis was in serious negotiations with the Big East to join the megaconference. (HT: Eamonn.) And it was a report! He had sources and confirmation and everything! Good story!

But with a big enough stage, the absence of facts becomes too glaring - and when the President of U of M and a spokesman for the Big East both deny any such negotiations (laughingly, no less) - well, we think that our friend Matt Stark will be working at MyFoxMemphis or its equivalent for a little while longer.

Don’t get us wrong - Memphis to the Big East makes sense. The Tigers would balance the football schedule, and since the conference is already too big for basketball, what’s another team if they actually bring quality with the quantity? And since the conference has already shown their indifference towards geographic common sense and academic prowess, Memphis’ two major weaknesses pose no problem!

Alas - not to be. Rumor on, fellow soldiers - but on this point, Memphis and its fans are reduced to early ’90s easy listening.

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