CHOOSE!

THE STORY EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT
Ohio - More or Less Frightening Than Mexico?

The question above poses an odd query to anyone with neither affinity or hate for either locale - your corn comes from the former, your patently racist joke tortillas come from the latter. But if you drink heartily of the haterade this country prides itself on, then you likely have a fairly negative view of one or both of these locations, making a choice between them difficult.

More evidence to confuse the decision: in Ohio, college basketball players are shooting at police officers:

Akron basketball player Rydell Brooks was arrested early Sunday after shooting at police officers during a foot chase following a traffic stop.

Akron police said the 20-year-old Brooks ran from a car and fired several times as police officers chased him. He was being held in Summit County Jail and faces attempted murder and felonious assault charges.

We guess that he won’t be suiting up for the Zips anytime soon.

But in Mexico, you can get the shit beaten out of you by two American hoops players, and nobody will be charged because “all you people look alike”:

The person who was injured, a Michigan resident who was down there on an internship, still maintain it was [Portland State player Scott] Morrison who broke his jaw. He and his family are still seeking to have charges brought (if they can find anyone who can corroborate his story) and are looking into a civil action.

Protecting and serving Akron while fielding bullets from a bench guard, or taking slugs in a foreign land, first from a countryman and then from a shady judicial system? CHOOSE!

TWO OTHER STORIES THAT WE ENJOYED FOR NO GOOD REASON

All-Night Buffets in Boca Raton, Be Warned

The reports range in commitment level from “we love him, but we’re not in love with him” to a journalistic post-coital cigarette, but
Mike Jarvis appears to be the next head coach at Florida Atlantic.

Jarvis’ kissy talk about how much he loves the school and the area may well be a necessary part of the contract, considering how well FAU’s last big name lay worked out.

Our Nerd Hearts Swell with Blood

We’ve roundly enjoyed Dana O’Neil’s work since joining tWWL’s hoops crew from the Philadelphia Daily News, since she forgot to burn her journalism degree when setting up shop in Bristol. Her latest filing about the Cal Tech basketball team is particularly superb, and not just because it mentions the Kuiper Belt. (Though we’ll admit a certain fondness for astrophysics. What?)

No, we love this article for its self-deprecating tone (O’Neil admits she has no idea what these guys are saying when speaking about their research internships) and for it’s subtle shot at the deaf (”Caltech won just one game this year and it was against Gallaudet, the nation’s leading university for the hearing impaired.”) And because it gives us the excuse to post the following, evidence that even at Caltech you’ll find many an ill-spent youth, albeit in the other direction: