Brandon Jennings, the all-world recruit of Arizona slated to serve as a one-year replacement for one-year star Jerryd Bayless, made headlines last week by stating that he might play in Europe next year if he can’t qualify academically for NCAA play. Now, to the delight of the pro-labor opponents of the “one-and-done” rule, Jennings says that he might go to Europe regardless of whether he qualifies, since he only planned on spending a year in school anyway.

But as thousands of liberal arts majors learn the hard way each year, running away to Europe doesn’t solve all your problems stateside. As DeCourcy points out, why would a European club that won’t even play its own (read: controlled under multi-year development contracts) young players give big cash and PT to a one-and-done American kid?

If he chooses the European route, Jennings is essentially choosing to stand pat on his 2009 draft position, hoping that no one playing stateside – getting significant minutes and against better competition – passes him in the process. Seeing as how DraftExpress has him as next year’s #5 pick right now – maybe that’s not his worst choice.

But come on, Brandon – go to Tuscon for a year. If not for yourself, do it for Lute, who we swear is one more piece of bad news away from officially going batshit crazy (and, frankly, that piece of bad news could be a bad prune in his tapioca). And if you can’t even do it for Lute, for God’s sakes, do it for us. We were banking on getting at least a couple of jokes out of your stylin’ flattop.

Comic gold, Brandon. Don’t leave us hanging.

We always know the strength of an oncoming storm by the reaction of our dog. Minor shower? She doesn’t move. Thunderstorm? She’ll hide under the bed. Hurricane-force shitstorm? She bolts to the back of her crate and whimpers, wishing she could just get the hell out of the way.

In a move unsurprising for Hoosier fans, IU athletic director Rick Greenspan was content to play the role of the dog to the Sampson scandal’s shitstorm, as he took the “get the hell out” option by resigning on Thursday.

And not a moment too soon – in news buried under Greenspan’s resignation, the NCAA added a fifth major allegation to the case against IU. The latest charge is a doozy, claiming that IU failed to monitor the basketball program adequately. It’s not a “death penalty” inducing charge like “lack of institutional control”, but if the NCAA finds adequate proof of the allegation, it could result in a postseason ban for the Hoosiers.

Hoosier fans, based on our experience with hurricanes, all we can say is – the dog’s reaction is right. Allegiance may prevent you from running away, but all you can do is duck and cover until the storm passes. And perhaps try to rock out to German hair rock while doing it.

Three coaching hires / rehires as the Human Resources Department portion of the offseason winds to a close:

First, Sean Woods will take over at Mississippi Valley State, leaving his assistant position at TCU. (LaDainian Tomlinson now owes Jerry Rice a dollar.) With Woods and former UK teammate John Pelphrey (now at Arkansas) heading Division I programs and fellow Wildcat Richie Farmer moving up the ranks in Kentucky state politics, the 1991-1992 Kentucky “Unforgettables” are living up to their name, as RTC notes.

Well, mostly – Deron Feldhaus, the fourth “Unforgettable”, is the pro and co-owner at a nine-hole golf course on the Ohio border. NTTIAWWT, of course, since nine-hole courses keep our scores in double digits and our brains on this side of sanity.

This reads ’bout right.

Second, Ohio University AD Jim Schaus (who, again, was Pete Carroll-level jacked to conduct his first major coaching search) appears to have found his man, as Goodman’s sources have Ohio State assistant John Croce pegged as the Bobcats’ new head coach. Jim, if you thought this was exciting, just wait until you get to replace Frank Solich. Roofie endurance tests for everyone!

Finally, Davidson makes the obvious move by re-signing coach Bob McKillop to a long-term deal. McKillop, like George Mason’s Jim Larranaga before him, would be the subject of every coaching search from sagging BCS schools and would-be near majors for the foreseeable future. Locking McKillop into Davidson for the long-term – which, by all accounts, was McKillop’s sincere wish – offers fans the chance in five years to be just as sick of Davidson as we are of Gonzaga now. Hooray overexposure!

THE STORY EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT

Sadly, the biggest – and, for the most part, only – story in college basketball today is actually a story about pro basketball:

How old school are we? 2006 old school, that’s how we do.

The draft is melancholy for us. On one hand, we will watch any draft of any sport because we are … how do you put this … addicts. There is something intensely interesting about watching the future unfold, not to mention that we, like Bill Simmons’ and his dad, roundly enjoy reviewing the suits each year. Plus, if you can’t enjoy watching Stephen A. Smith interview someone who doesn’t speak English – well, brother, we just don’t know what to tell you.

(Oddly, we now have a taste for cheez doodles. Which are delicious.)

On the other hand, however, the draft is where we bid a fond farewell to college players we enjoyed because … well, we just don’t give a damn about the NBA. We’ve tried, and we just can’t. It’s not because we think the quality of play is poor; we don’t think that’s true in the slightest (at least, not anymore). It’s not that we don’t find the games entertaining, or that we have a problem with the NBA “culture”. It’s that we have no blood on that field; we have no stake in what happens at that level.

We grew up as Cleveland Cavaliers fans, which was fun during the glory years with Mark Price and Brad Daugherty. (See, Carolina fans? We can let grudges go.) But then Daugherty got hurt and starting caring more about racing than playing. Price got traded. The Cavs acquired Shawn Kemp (and future negotiation rights with all 329 of his children), who promptly got fat and terrible. The team sucked. And then the 1998 lockout happened.

Even as college kids, there was only so much time we had to devote to following sports – there were things called “Goldeneye”, “beer” and “trim” to which we wanted to devote our attention. And at that time, with our team in shambles and the league thumbing its nose at its fans – well, we just couldn’t care anymore.

We’ve tried to go back to it – it’s not like we’re unaware that the Cavs have the best basketball player alive right now – but any devotion we may have had to our team is gone. As Simmons put it – like him or hate him, he sometimes finds a nut – when you cheer for a team these days, you are essentially cheering for laundry. And you know what? We just don’t care about that laundry anymore, because it’s so evident that those wearing it don’t care either. And without a rooting interest, frankly, just about any sport becomes difficult to follow with any sort of regularity.

Is it that much better at the college level? We’d like to think so – after all, a player chooses where to go to play his college ball, and part of us really wants to believe that players who choose to attend our alma maters share some of the same hopes and dreams we had when we first stepped on campus years ago. It can’t ALL be based on booster gifts, coaching personalities, and co-eds, right? (Though, in fairness, we had hopes and dreams for the same co-eds. We just had no chance.)

No one knows for sure, of course, and we’ll admit that our view is a rosy one, especially as it pertains to top level players. But we’d rather cast our lots with the guys who, at the margins, are playing for fun rather than the guys who are, at the margins, playing as a job.

So, we’ll be watching the Draft tonight – partly for fun, but partly to say goodbye to players that we won’t see or read much about again. It’s the cyclical nature of college sports, but it’s still kind of sad.

THE STORY EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT

Wait a second … that doesn’t seem right after several days off … let’s try that again:

ALL THE CRAP THAT’S HAPPENED IN THE LAST WEEK

That’s better. Quick roundup of the biggest stories, with a little link love for our brother blogs:

Paul Hewitt Stands Tall, States the Obvious

At last week’s meeting of the Knight Commission (the body studying academic standards for NCAA athletics), Georgia Tech coach Paul Hewitt earned a lot of press by voicing controversial, even shocking, opinions about all that is wrong with the current student-athlete model. Radical stuff, like “Eligibility rather than academic growth has become our biggest concern”, and “Agents are turning college campuses into the Wild West.” Whoa, whoa, Paul … drop one bomb at a time, baby, we weren’t prepared. Hang on, we’ll sit down. OK, go on:

“While I like to see everyone who reaches college earn a degree,” Hewitt said, “we need to find more effective ways to achieve our goals. I do have a problem with putting numbers out there, saying ‘Meet these numbers or else. You’re turning education into a race.”

Phew … radical, radical man. You’re lucky you didn’t lose your job for saying crazy stuff like that.

Of course Hewitt is right, and we all know he’s right – it’s just that no one in the powers that be care, since they can’t hear him over the sound of cash registers. And Hewitt had some thoughts about that as well:

[Hewitt] said he’d like to see basketball become a one-semester sport and that coaches overall would like to see a shorter schedule, but he admitted it’s “not going to happen” because of the lucrative television money that comes from playing more games, even in early November.

Whoa, Paul – we were with you right up until you suggested cutting games. We have a habit to feed, you know. Crazy talk like that will get us back on the harder junk.

Apologies for lack of content since Thursday – we are in the midst of finalizing our move from Mr. Jefferson’s city to the nation’s capital, which often leaves us without access to these here interwebs, and without means of acquiring such access and/or time to post without angering our wife as she is surrounded by partially unpacked boxes. We post as often as can this week, but it will likely be intermittent at best.

In the meantime, we offer this insight to how the weekend went:

Rick Pitino: Phew. Recruiting season is over for the fall, so I can finally enjoy the summer a little bit before things get cranking again next month … make a few bucks on the speaker circuit, maybe work in a week back in Italy with the wife. But first, I gotta check in on my ponies down at the race track.

[walks into stable]

Pitino: Hey there, Val. Good horse. You want a carrot? You want a little nuzzle with Daddy Rick? Yeah … just you and me here now …

[stall door swings open]

Derrick Caracter: You better do that question thang!

Pitino: Shit.

(more…)

A friend gets an apartment. The apartment is in a shitty part of town, in a way-too-old-but-still-miraculously-meets-code building. Your friend KNOWS its a dump, but can’t stop talking about how good of a deal he got on the rent, how easy it is to park there, and how close it is to the subway. And, for that matter, the Subway, because that’s the only place to eat within a ten-block area.

Even McDonald’s got the hell out of here.

How do you handle this? You don’t want to avoid the friend – but you sure as sin avoid the apartment. “Come over and watch the game? Why don’t we try the new place downtown? Oh, and you are hosting a party? Yeah … I’m gonna be out of town.” And so forth. After a while, your buddy starts to wonder what’s going on. He might even get a little annoyed about it.

But then, eventually, he moves … maybe because the management encouraged him to leave, because he gets a little loud when he gets drunk, and he gets drunk a lot … and, voila! Suddenly, you’re back on his couch like a blonde co-ed looking for extra credit in Philosophy.

Transform into – COLLEGE BASKETBALL ANALOGY!

Bob Huggins spent two seasons in Columbus as an assistant coach for the Buckeyes. A few years later, he took over as head coach at Akron, and would occasionally schedule a game against his old employers. Then he took over at Cincinnati – and for sixteen years, no games between his squad and tOSU. “But, hey, maybe next weekend? Actually … wait, I’ve got conference games … well, we’ll figure something out.”

But Morgantown? Now that’s a neighborhood that Columbus can relate to! Sure, we’ll come over and watch some rasslin’! And come on over tonight … bring the new girlfriend.

Cincinnati – consider yourself insulted. In the meantime, it goes without saying that police in both states have already penciled the scheduled game dates into their calendars.

Emmanuel Negedu, the last top-level recruit available for the Class of 2008, faced the same difficult choice as other top recruits: which major program will he give his soul for the next four three two some indefinite period of time?

After commanding the full attention of four top programs for the last month, Negedu finally made his decision yesterday, committing to play in Knoxville for Bruce Pearl and the Volunteers.

For Memphis and Arizona, two of the programs Negedu jilted, the news makes this week bittersweet. Both programs went 50-50 with players leaving early for the pros, and both could have used the services of the small-in-size but big-in-game power forward. For Indiana … Tom Crean’s search for any bodies willing to throw on an IU uniform continues.

But for Pearl, it’s celebration time, and for the media’s favorite coach, you know that can only mean one thing:

Time to hit the lake! Where’s Pat? Call Erin!

Quick -what is the greatest skill that Johnny Dawkins brought with him from Durham to Palo Alto? Is it his familiarty with Ivy wannabe employers that expect athletic success without compromising their standards? His ability to recruit talent within those confines? His abilities as a teacher of the jump shot and defense?

Nay, fair civilians – you know the true answer. The clincher in the hiring was Dawkins’ ability to deal with a huge dick. To work with it, to learn from it, and ultimately to love it.

And that love is what made Dawkins so appealing to a Bay Area team, so desperate to find a man that knew a good dick when he saw one.

And Dawkins has followed through as hoped – the Stanford head coach filled out his coaching staff yesterday, and in addition to stealing away his former employer’s director of basketball operations as an assistant coach, Dawkins brought in a Dick that knows how to find players in every alley in the Bay Area.

Feel blessed, young men of Menlo Park, for soon you will be in the presence of the biggest Dick in the history of Bay Area basketball. He will share with you his passion. He’ll treat you with his famous tenderness. And if you keep an open mind, you might just learn something from his wisdom, and reach your climax on the court. Oh yes, fair boys of Stanford, you will.

[/dick jokes]