You’ll see. You’ll all see.

THE STORY EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT
Caution: Genius Recruiting at Work

Little of the news coming out of Lexington this offseason has made a lick of sense. We’ve already done some serious noggin’ scratching when Billy Gillispie inked a kid who hasn’t even started high school yet, but ol’ Billy Clyde may have one upped himself with his latest switcheroo:

First, UK loses its third player to transfer in six months, as guard Derrick Jasper confirmed his intent to transfer to a school that will let him play closer to his natural homes on the West Coast and at the point. UK now has to hope that incoming frosh DeAndre Liggins can qualify academically - he’s only been trying all year - or they kinda sorta don’t have a point guard for next year.

But don’t you fret, brave UK fan - Billy Clyde has a diabolical plan. Didn’t get all the way from El Paso to bluegrass in less than four years without cyborg-level genius that goes way beyond your level. And that genius tells him to sign up a transfer who couldn’t crack the starting lineup in the MEAC:

[Matt] Pilgrim is currently in Lexington on a visit. He is a talent, but was suspended this past season and one source close to the situation said Pilgrim is a “cancer”. Pilgrim started less than half of the 26 games he played and saw his numbers fall to 7.7 points and 5.2 rebounds.

“He was the most talented player in the league,” one source said. “But he’s a giant head case. I’m shocked Kentucky would take him.”

Oh, Mr. Anonymous Badmouth, of course you are shocked. How could you possibly comprehend the brilliant machinations of Billy Clyde? When the revolution comes and UK is the last left standing because of his moves, it will be he that has the last laugh - but true genius never boasts, friends, and that is why Billy sits in his office alone, plotting his next move while applying more Brylcreem than the entire cast of West Side Story.

FOUR STORIES WORTH A FEW LINES APIECE

A Bird in Hand Is Worth Two in … Something - The Jayhawks made their way to Washington yesterday for the traditional accolades from President Bush, whose occasionally competent speech writing team incomparable knowledge of 1980s sports trivia allowed him to cite “Danny and the Miracles” without tripping over more than two words. (And oh yeah - we’ll get back to this.)

Of Chips, Blocks, and Other Violent Acts of Chiseling - In a profile piece relatively light on the fellatio, Tim Griffin at tWWL gets Pat Knight to admit that absent nepostism, he wouldn’t be anywhere near a Big XII coaching job right now. Nice to see that of all the potential traits Pat could have inherited from Pops, brutal honesty won out.

Our Corneas Already Hurt in Anticipation - In a move that shocks exactly no one in Irish Nation, Digger Phelps wants to be considered for the open AD slot in South Bend. (HT: Eamonn.)

You Knew This Would Happen - The IRS and the FBI launched their own joint investigation into potential wrongdoing by O.J. Mayo’s sugar daddies suppliers, as they simply couldn’t sit on the sidelines while a mildly interesting criminal case was overly scrutinized and mismanaged by another government body.