Or, if he is the Jimmy Swaggart type, maybe he will: according to an anonymous SEC coaching source close to George Dohrmann of SI, surviving as a coach in ESS-EEE-SEE territory requires more than just hitting the hardwood and your knees:

Coaching in the SEC requires “a moral flexibility,” as one coach terms it. “Most of the schools are willing to bend the rules to help get the recruits you need to win.”

Lawd have mercy! Devil done come down and stole the purity right out of them SEC coaches … or, something. Flexibility with your eight-man rotation and practice regimes we knew about, but who knew that coaching in Dixie required a man to do unspeakable acts he doesn’t talk about with his Momma at night?

We aren’t quite sure how Dohrmann justifies a quote that, in the context of the remainder of the article (tough coaching jobs), implies that only SEC coaches practice such moral flexibility, but there you have it. The article claims that other coaches view Mississippi State as the toughest coaching job in the conference. Given that Rick Stansbury has won 65% of his games (including 54% in conference) in ten years in Starksville, including one conference title and five trips to the Tournament, we’re not sure if his colleagues came to praise or bury him.

One thing, however, is sure – a quote so devious and yet so naively honest at the same time must have come from one of those carpetbagger coaches. Hmm … we need a Yankee … plenty of those … who is hateful brave enough to throw his in-conference colleagues under the bus … and chatty enough with the media that no one will suspect him of doing it anonymously. I dunno. Could the person responsible please raise his hand?

Just a guess.

Straight ballin’.

THE STORY EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT
DWI Doesn’t Pay Matter

Breaking the law is bad, but if you drink and drive, you will have committed the crime of greatest moral turpitude of all. It’s bad enough that you become a threat to yourself and others, to person and property alike. But brother, it also shows you can’t hold your liquor, and there ain’t nothing less American than a man who can’t hold his sauce.

But feel calmed, citizens – everything you have been taught from a young age is true. When you commit this great breach of conduct and judgment, you will be caught and punished severely by both the public and private. Criminal sanction? Of course. Public shame? Absolutely. Distrust of loved ones? Possibly. Cautious reaction by potential employers? Practically certain.

Unless, of course, you are Ty Lawson, a pure point guard with strong defense, penetration skills, and a love of rollin’ saucy with the music pumping. Then, son, you have a chance to find work in Denver, if FOX’s Jeff Goodman is right:

My guess is that some teams may shy away from the North Carolina sophomore point guard, but I doubt Denver will be one of them.

Remember, the Nuggets, who pick at No. 20, are the team rumored to be extremely interested in Lawson.

The Nuggets have Allen Iverson, Carmelo Anthony, J.R. Smith and Kenyon Martin on their roster.

Not exactly model citizens.

We couldn’t agree more, though we now question what types of “Nuggets” these modern Denver players are searching for … though we suspect a gram-sensitive scale is still appropriate.

Only gold from them thar hills, brah, we promise.

UPDATE: Apparently, Lawson didn’t show up for his scheduled workout with the Nuggs today. Either Lawson is an idiot, or he has a lock stock guarantee from another team that picks before the Nuggets at #20 that he’ll be their pick. A tip of the cap again to Jeff Goodman for his excellent work.

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