Thanksgiving in Maui – perfect.

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Key Preseason Tournaments Announce Matchups

If the NFL preseason has taught us anything – unlikely at best, but roll with us for a minute – it is that “meaning” does not guarantee priority viewing. Preseaon NFL games may be both meaningless and poor in quality, but they’re still more entertaining to watch than Game #120 in the MLB season. (And, jeez, we actually like baseball.)

But that dirty secret is a double-edged sword, and it cuts football harshly around Thanksgiving. As anyone who has suffered through watching the Lions with a belly full of tryptophan should admit, the best sports on television during the Week of the Bird has nothing to do with a pigskin. Nay, it is the exempt preseason college hoops tournaments – they of the meaningless games and odd locales – that take the cake. And the pie. And whatever other deliciousness is left in the Thanksgiving cornucopia of metaphor.

The WWL released the schedules for three of this season’s premier exempt tourneys, and each features a few can’t miss early season matchups:

In Maui – Trendy pick Notre Dame faces off against Tom Crean’s Indiana(ish) squad, but undisputed preseason #1 North Carolina leads the field and will face host Chaminade in their first game. Given the air of infallibility surrounding this UNC team, pardon us if we cheer for the Silverswords to … ya know, pull a Chaminade.

In Anaheim – In its second year, tWWL’s own tournament might be labeled the Up-and-Coming Classic. Wake Forest, coming off a Top 10 recruiting class, will face the defending Big West champs and hosts Cal State Fullerton. The winner takes on a field consisting of former bottom-dwellers like Baylor and Arizona State, punched up with solid mid-majors like Saint Mary’s and Charlotte.

In Orlando – Also owned by tWWL but with two years of history, the Old Spice Classic pulls in an impressive field of solid teams from last year with major question marks. Tennessee post-Chris Lofton? Georgetown post-Roy Hibbert? Siena trying to become the new Gonzaga? Gonzaga trying to do better than … ya know, Gonzaga? This is literally anyone’s tournament. All we know is that Neil Patrick Harris better be there.

Three more headlines, including a lot more travel for teams and coaches, after the jump

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Not dead yet!

With only two weeks to go until the bar exam, it doesn’t take much to provide a ray of light into our lives. (“Leftovers of a bad meal for dinner??!! Hooray!! At least I don’t need to determine if the rubber chicken is a holder in due course of a negotiable instrument!!!”)

That said, we feel fairly certain that the news that maybe, just maybe, Rick Pitino will let Derrick Caracter come back to the Louisville team would have made us WOOT out loud on the brightest of days:

“He came to me one more time and asked for any option available to get back on the team. I have given him the same option I gave Scott Padgett when he played for me at Kentucky. [...] If Derrick is willing to grow up in the game of life and we can help him realize his potential, then we are there to help him. But that’s a big if.”

A big if indeed. Caracter will need to sit out next season to show he can grow “as a student, as a person, and as a basketball player”, and (notably) will NOT be on scholarship, so he’ll have to pay his own way to school. And get a job. And not get Fulmer-like fat again. So his odds of success are, shall we say, less than great.

In other words, a win-win-win for humble bloggers – either he succeeds and he gets a chance to fulfill his unrealized potential as a hoopster (and no one has ever questioned he has the talent to be great), or he fails epically and we can ridicule him on his way down the chute. Like we’ve been doing for the last few months.

Either way, we gleefully add “caracter issues” as a new category to the blog. Because if you think we’re not going to do a few more chapters of this now that there is an actual chance that Caracter will stay … well, you don’t know us very well.

In the meantime – we return to our office cave to execute some wills and devise some property. Word.

(HT: Eamonn, doing fine fine work as always.)

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Sadly, the biggest – and, for the most part, only – story in college basketball today is actually a story about pro basketball:

How old school are we? 2006 old school, that’s how we do.

The draft is melancholy for us. On one hand, we will watch any draft of any sport because we are … how do you put this … addicts. There is something intensely interesting about watching the future unfold, not to mention that we, like Bill Simmons’ and his dad, roundly enjoy reviewing the suits each year. Plus, if you can’t enjoy watching Stephen A. Smith interview someone who doesn’t speak English – well, brother, we just don’t know what to tell you.

(Oddly, we now have a taste for cheez doodles. Which are delicious.)

On the other hand, however, the draft is where we bid a fond farewell to college players we enjoyed because … well, we just don’t give a damn about the NBA. We’ve tried, and we just can’t. It’s not because we think the quality of play is poor; we don’t think that’s true in the slightest (at least, not anymore). It’s not that we don’t find the games entertaining, or that we have a problem with the NBA “culture”. It’s that we have no blood on that field; we have no stake in what happens at that level.

We grew up as Cleveland Cavaliers fans, which was fun during the glory years with Mark Price and Brad Daugherty. (See, Carolina fans? We can let grudges go.) But then Daugherty got hurt and starting caring more about racing than playing. Price got traded. The Cavs acquired Shawn Kemp (and future negotiation rights with all 329 of his children), who promptly got fat and terrible. The team sucked. And then the 1998 lockout happened.

Even as college kids, there was only so much time we had to devote to following sports – there were things called “Goldeneye”, “beer” and “trim” to which we wanted to devote our attention. And at that time, with our team in shambles and the league thumbing its nose at its fans – well, we just couldn’t care anymore.

We’ve tried to go back to it – it’s not like we’re unaware that the Cavs have the best basketball player alive right now – but any devotion we may have had to our team is gone. As Simmons put it – like him or hate him, he sometimes finds a nut – when you cheer for a team these days, you are essentially cheering for laundry. And you know what? We just don’t care about that laundry anymore, because it’s so evident that those wearing it don’t care either. And without a rooting interest, frankly, just about any sport becomes difficult to follow with any sort of regularity.

Is it that much better at the college level? We’d like to think so – after all, a player chooses where to go to play his college ball, and part of us really wants to believe that players who choose to attend our alma maters share some of the same hopes and dreams we had when we first stepped on campus years ago. It can’t ALL be based on booster gifts, coaching personalities, and co-eds, right? (Though, in fairness, we had hopes and dreams for the same co-eds. We just had no chance.)

No one knows for sure, of course, and we’ll admit that our view is a rosy one, especially as it pertains to top level players. But we’d rather cast our lots with the guys who, at the margins, are playing for fun rather than the guys who are, at the margins, playing as a job.

So, we’ll be watching the Draft tonight – partly for fun, but partly to say goodbye to players that we won’t see or read much about again. It’s the cyclical nature of college sports, but it’s still kind of sad.

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Wait a second … that doesn’t seem right after several days off … let’s try that again:

ALL THE CRAP THAT’S HAPPENED IN THE LAST WEEK

That’s better. Quick roundup of the biggest stories, with a little link love for our brother blogs:

Paul Hewitt Stands Tall, States the Obvious

At last week’s meeting of the Knight Commission (the body studying academic standards for NCAA athletics), Georgia Tech coach Paul Hewitt earned a lot of press by voicing controversial, even shocking, opinions about all that is wrong with the current student-athlete model. Radical stuff, like “Eligibility rather than academic growth has become our biggest concern”, and “Agents are turning college campuses into the Wild West.” Whoa, whoa, Paul … drop one bomb at a time, baby, we weren’t prepared. Hang on, we’ll sit down. OK, go on:

“While I like to see everyone who reaches college earn a degree,” Hewitt said, “we need to find more effective ways to achieve our goals. I do have a problem with putting numbers out there, saying ‘Meet these numbers or else. You’re turning education into a race.”

Phew … radical, radical man. You’re lucky you didn’t lose your job for saying crazy stuff like that.

Of course Hewitt is right, and we all know he’s right – it’s just that no one in the powers that be care, since they can’t hear him over the sound of cash registers. And Hewitt had some thoughts about that as well:

[Hewitt] said he’d like to see basketball become a one-semester sport and that coaches overall would like to see a shorter schedule, but he admitted it’s “not going to happen” because of the lucrative television money that comes from playing more games, even in early November.

Whoa, Paul – we were with you right up until you suggested cutting games. We have a habit to feed, you know. Crazy talk like that will get us back on the harder junk.

Rick Pitino: Phew. Recruiting season is over for the fall, so I can finally enjoy the summer a little bit before things get cranking again next month … make a few bucks on the speaker circuit, maybe work in a week back in Italy with the wife. But first, I gotta check in on my ponies down at the race track.

[walks into stable]

Pitino: Hey there, Val. Good horse. You want a carrot? You want a little nuzzle with Daddy Rick? Yeah … just you and me here now …

[stall door swings open]

Derrick Caracter: You better do that question thang!

Pitino: Shit.

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A friend gets an apartment. The apartment is in a shitty part of town, in a way-too-old-but-still-miraculously-meets-code building. Your friend KNOWS its a dump, but can’t stop talking about how good of a deal he got on the rent, how easy it is to park there, and how close it is to the subway. And, for that matter, the Subway, because that’s the only place to eat within a ten-block area.

Even McDonald’s got the hell out of here.

How do you handle this? You don’t want to avoid the friend – but you sure as sin avoid the apartment. “Come over and watch the game? Why don’t we try the new place downtown? Oh, and you are hosting a party? Yeah … I’m gonna be out of town.” And so forth. After a while, your buddy starts to wonder what’s going on. He might even get a little annoyed about it.

But then, eventually, he moves … maybe because the management encouraged him to leave, because he gets a little loud when he gets drunk, and he gets drunk a lot … and, voila! Suddenly, you’re back on his couch like a blonde co-ed looking for extra credit in Philosophy.

Transform into – COLLEGE BASKETBALL ANALOGY!

Bob Huggins spent two seasons in Columbus as an assistant coach for the Buckeyes. A few years later, he took over as head coach at Akron, and would occasionally schedule a game against his old employers. Then he took over at Cincinnati – and for sixteen years, no games between his squad and tOSU. “But, hey, maybe next weekend? Actually … wait, I’ve got conference games … well, we’ll figure something out.”

But Morgantown? Now that’s a neighborhood that Columbus can relate to! Sure, we’ll come over and watch some rasslin’! And come on over tonight … bring the new girlfriend.

Cincinnati – consider yourself insulted. In the meantime, it goes without saying that police in both states have already penciled the scheduled game dates into their calendars.

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We’re Sorry, You’re Out – Auf Wiedersehen

With only two games of basketball left in the 2007-2008 season, hoops fans will turn their focus full-time to preparation for next season. (Except in LA, of course, where Simmons will be analyzing game tape from the last ten years looking for the Zapruder film showing Dick Bavetta as a dirty ref.)

As always, the first (and appropriate) focus of the off-season will be on the NBA Draft. Since this isn’t an NBA blog, we don’t terribly care who goes to what team – but we do care about is who decides to stay in college basketball (read: subject matter for at least another year!) and who goes pro. Today, June 16th, we’ll have the final version of both of those lists. This is today’s only major story, so as announcements come down, we’ll post updates.

Tick tock.

Already, BYU’s Lee Cummard surprised a few people by deciding to come back to Provo, while NC State’s J.J. Hickson, Kansas’ Mario Chalmers, and West Virginia’s Joe Alexander stayed in the draft as expected, as all are projected to be late first round or early secnod round picks.

But the big announcements haven’t come down the pike yet – no declaration yet from any of the big three from UNC, and Arizona’s Chase Budinger remains on the fence as well. Stay tuned.

No, seriously, we feel terrible.

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Fear Pity the Turtle

If you are looking for a ticket out of College Park, best book early – some very tall gentlemen are taking up all the good seats. If you trying to get into town, however, feel free to browse – all seats are free.

In the wake of the Tyree Evans saga and the transfer of Gus Gilchrist, wouldbe bench player Shane Walker finalized his transfer by announcing his move up the road to Loyola. If you are keeping score at home, that’s -1 outside shooter, -2 post players, and +3 open scholarships for Gary Williams.

But with the recruiting well for the coming season now dry and expected stud Sean Mosley struggling to qualify academically, the Terps may be down to nine scholarship players for next year. Williams’ options to fill out the roster: more land mine ju-co transfers, unsigned risks who can’t qualify academically or physically, or walk-ons. All are terrible choices for Williams; all are fantastic possibilities for those of us who love watching Maryland and Williams squirm.

The roster problems come on the heels of a rough stretch for the Terps … [snickers under his breath] … having missed the tournament three of the last four years . The program’s struggles seem strange, given that Maryland won the national championship only six years ago – which was so forever ago that Juan Dixon is now collecting Social Security.

But perhaps there is now a six year curse. Six years after winning 2000 title, Michigan State lost to lowly George Mason in the first round. 1999 champ UConn got upset in the 2nd round by NC State in 2005. As for 2001 champ Duke … ugh:

Four more headlines, including some moderately NSFW work, after the jump.

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“Michigan” plays “Indiana” in Mangalore, India as part of the NCAA’s pilot outsourcing program.

INDIANAPOLIS (AP) – In an announcement that shocked the world of college athletics and sent pundits scrambling for their keyboards, the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) revealed today that it is considering outsourcing its sports programs to other countries, and has already started pilot programs in college basketball to test the move.

“Outsourcing has been on our agenda for over four years,” said Brand, noting that the NCAA undertook extensive studies of the topic before starting the pilot programs this year. “In the beginning, we were really just thinking about merchandise and information management, but the more we explored the issue, the more we thought: why not the sports themselves?”

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Straight ballin’.

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DWI Doesn’t Pay Matter

Breaking the law is bad, but if you drink and drive, you will have committed the crime of greatest moral turpitude of all. It’s bad enough that you become a threat to yourself and others, to person and property alike. But brother, it also shows you can’t hold your liquor, and there ain’t nothing less American than a man who can’t hold his sauce.

But feel calmed, citizens – everything you have been taught from a young age is true. When you commit this great breach of conduct and judgment, you will be caught and punished severely by both the public and private. Criminal sanction? Of course. Public shame? Absolutely. Distrust of loved ones? Possibly. Cautious reaction by potential employers? Practically certain.

Unless, of course, you are Ty Lawson, a pure point guard with strong defense, penetration skills, and a love of rollin’ saucy with the music pumping. Then, son, you have a chance to find work in Denver, if FOX’s Jeff Goodman is right:

My guess is that some teams may shy away from the North Carolina sophomore point guard, but I doubt Denver will be one of them.

Remember, the Nuggets, who pick at No. 20, are the team rumored to be extremely interested in Lawson.

The Nuggets have Allen Iverson, Carmelo Anthony, J.R. Smith and Kenyon Martin on their roster.

Not exactly model citizens.

We couldn’t agree more, though we now question what types of “Nuggets” these modern Denver players are searching for … though we suspect a gram-sensitive scale is still appropriate.

Only gold from them thar hills, brah, we promise.

UPDATE: Apparently, Lawson didn’t show up for his scheduled workout with the Nuggs today. Either Lawson is an idiot, or he has a lock stock guarantee from another team that picks before the Nuggets at #20 that he’ll be their pick. A tip of the cap again to Jeff Goodman for his excellent work.

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