We’re on our incredibly-long-for-no-good-reason-except-woooo-vacation honeymoon, and still have a week to go, but we break radio silence with sad news – Don Haskins, the legendary coach at UTEP née Texas Western, passed away earlier this morning.

Haskins is, of course, best known for coaching the 1966 national championship team from El Paso, the first such championship team to feature an all-black starting lineup. Fans less familiar with history of the game, and more familiar with sugar-laden Disney biopics, remember Haskins and the ‘66 Miners from the 2006 movie Glory Road.

(In a rare breach of anonymity, here’s a much longer review we wrote of that movie when it came out. We cringe re-reading it, in part because it’s too long, in part because we were probably too kind to the movie, but mostly because we commented favorably about something written by Scoop Jackson.)

In later years, Haskins hoped he would be remembered as a coach rather than any sort of social mover – in his mind, breaking racial barriers in West Texas made sense because it allowed him to put his best team on the court. Makes sense to us.

Rest in peace, Coach.

Thanksgiving in Maui – perfect.

THE STORY EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT
Key Preseason Tournaments Announce Matchups

If the NFL preseason has taught us anything – unlikely at best, but roll with us for a minute – it is that “meaning” does not guarantee priority viewing. Preseaon NFL games may be both meaningless and poor in quality, but they’re still more entertaining to watch than Game #120 in the MLB season. (And, jeez, we actually like baseball.)

But that dirty secret is a double-edged sword, and it cuts football harshly around Thanksgiving. As anyone who has suffered through watching the Lions with a belly full of tryptophan should admit, the best sports on television during the Week of the Bird has nothing to do with a pigskin. Nay, it is the exempt preseason college hoops tournaments – they of the meaningless games and odd locales – that take the cake. And the pie. And whatever other deliciousness is left in the Thanksgiving cornucopia of metaphor.

The WWL released the schedules for three of this season’s premier exempt tourneys, and each features a few can’t miss early season matchups:

In Maui – Trendy pick Notre Dame faces off against Tom Crean’s Indiana(ish) squad, but undisputed preseason #1 North Carolina leads the field and will face host Chaminade in their first game. Given the air of infallibility surrounding this UNC team, pardon us if we cheer for the Silverswords to … ya know, pull a Chaminade.

In Anaheim – In its second year, tWWL’s own tournament might be labeled the Up-and-Coming Classic. Wake Forest, coming off a Top 10 recruiting class, will face the defending Big West champs and hosts Cal State Fullerton. The winner takes on a field consisting of former bottom-dwellers like Baylor and Arizona State, punched up with solid mid-majors like Saint Mary’s and Charlotte.

In Orlando – Also owned by tWWL but with two years of history, the Old Spice Classic pulls in an impressive field of solid teams from last year with major question marks. Tennessee post-Chris Lofton? Georgetown post-Roy Hibbert? Siena trying to become the new Gonzaga? Gonzaga trying to do better than … ya know, Gonzaga? This is literally anyone’s tournament. All we know is that Neil Patrick Harris better be there.

Three more headlines, including a lot more travel for teams and coaches, after the jump

THREE STORIES WORTH A FEW LINES APIECE

Places WAY Better Than Maui, and That’s Saying Something – Like Spain and Australia, where Cleveland State and Purdue (respectively) will spent the last part of their summer vacations, tuning up for next year. Maybe the basketball competition isn’t quite as strong, but what a travel experience for these young men. And by travel experience, we mean WOOOOOOT NUDE BEACHES AND DECENT BEER WOOOOOOOT.

Oh, We Could Think of a Few Things – Travis Ford says nothing has surprised him since coming to Stillwater from UMass earlier this year. Which is the nice political thing to say, but we imagine the answer he kept between his ears was, “Christ, if I wanted to hear nothing but country music and drink nothing but bourbon while driving down the road, I would have just gone back to Kentucky.” (Not that we condone DUIs, but OSU has a bit of a record.)

Speaking of Booze and Hoops – Because this is clearly an area where coaches have great moral authority, it makes total sense that coaches would call on the NCAA to ban alcohol advertisements from college broadcasts. No word on whether Bill Clyde, Huggy Bear, Eddie Sutton or any of the other dozens of coaches who have been pulled for DUIs despite being of-age, in public positions, and for God’s sakes KNOWING BETTER signed the letter.

Working for a Fortune 500 company can be a drag. Sure, once you get to the top level you get money, perks, and fame*. But until that point, work can be a drag. Go to the office, sit down in your cubicle, keep your head down and hope that the paychecks keep coming.

But then comes the day that every corporate worker bee hopes for – the day that the the CEO of the company reaches out to you personally to say that you are doing a great job not just as an employee, but as a parent. So impressed is he, in fact, that he hopes that your child will attend his alma mater – all the way across the country.

Wait, wait – sorry, doesn’t that happen to everyone? You could have fooled Oseye Gaddy, since the customer service rep for FedEx got just such a phone call earlier this week from company CEO David Bronczek.

We share Gaddy’s joy in the well-deserved praise, and we’re certain that Bronczek’s choice to reach out to her personally had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Gaddy’s son, Abdul Gaddy, is a highly sought-after point guard in the recruiting Class of 2009, and that one of his top pursuers is Memphis, which happens to be Bronczek’s favorite local team**.

But just to be sure, those boy scouts in Memphis reported the phone call to the NCAA just the same – seems that boosters calling recruits is kinda-sorta-maybe a NCAA rules violation. Bronczek claims he was unaware of the restriction, which just shows that he didn’t watch very much college football in the early 1980s.

Meanwhile, Oseye will keep living the work-a-day life with her head held high. When you know that if you live right, work hard, and happen to parent an athletically gifted young man who becomes the (only slightly creepy) fancy of older, richer men, everything will work out just fine.

For Bronczek and his Memphis colleagues, though, they might want to figure out other ways to push Gaddy towards the Tigers – seems that a certain contingent on the interwebs already has him headed for Tuscon. Because we know how well young point guards mix with Lute Olsen.

* – By fame, of course, we mean “the ability to walk around with your d*** out in the office and the country club locker room, even if no one on the street knows who you are”.

** – Did we say “favorite local team”? We meant “chosen recipient of over $500,000 in athletic donations from Bronczek, and likely much more”.

THE STORY EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT

Sadly, the biggest – and, for the most part, only – story in college basketball today is actually a story about pro basketball:

How old school are we? 2006 old school, that’s how we do.

The draft is melancholy for us. On one hand, we will watch any draft of any sport because we are … how do you put this … addicts. There is something intensely interesting about watching the future unfold, not to mention that we, like Bill Simmons’ and his dad, roundly enjoy reviewing the suits each year. Plus, if you can’t enjoy watching Stephen A. Smith interview someone who doesn’t speak English – well, brother, we just don’t know what to tell you.

(Oddly, we now have a taste for cheez doodles. Which are delicious.)

On the other hand, however, the draft is where we bid a fond farewell to college players we enjoyed because … well, we just don’t give a damn about the NBA. We’ve tried, and we just can’t. It’s not because we think the quality of play is poor; we don’t think that’s true in the slightest (at least, not anymore). It’s not that we don’t find the games entertaining, or that we have a problem with the NBA “culture”. It’s that we have no blood on that field; we have no stake in what happens at that level.

We grew up as Cleveland Cavaliers fans, which was fun during the glory years with Mark Price and Brad Daugherty. (See, Carolina fans? We can let grudges go.) But then Daugherty got hurt and starting caring more about racing than playing. Price got traded. The Cavs acquired Shawn Kemp (and future negotiation rights with all 329 of his children), who promptly got fat and terrible. The team sucked. And then the 1998 lockout happened.

Even as college kids, there was only so much time we had to devote to following sports – there were things called “Goldeneye”, “beer” and “trim” to which we wanted to devote our attention. And at that time, with our team in shambles and the league thumbing its nose at its fans – well, we just couldn’t care anymore.

We’ve tried to go back to it – it’s not like we’re unaware that the Cavs have the best basketball player alive right now – but any devotion we may have had to our team is gone. As Simmons put it – like him or hate him, he sometimes finds a nut – when you cheer for a team these days, you are essentially cheering for laundry. And you know what? We just don’t care about that laundry anymore, because it’s so evident that those wearing it don’t care either. And without a rooting interest, frankly, just about any sport becomes difficult to follow with any sort of regularity.

Is it that much better at the college level? We’d like to think so – after all, a player chooses where to go to play his college ball, and part of us really wants to believe that players who choose to attend our alma maters share some of the same hopes and dreams we had when we first stepped on campus years ago. It can’t ALL be based on booster gifts, coaching personalities, and co-eds, right? (Though, in fairness, we had hopes and dreams for the same co-eds. We just had no chance.)

No one knows for sure, of course, and we’ll admit that our view is a rosy one, especially as it pertains to top level players. But we’d rather cast our lots with the guys who, at the margins, are playing for fun rather than the guys who are, at the margins, playing as a job.

So, we’ll be watching the Draft tonight – partly for fun, but partly to say goodbye to players that we won’t see or read much about again. It’s the cyclical nature of college sports, but it’s still kind of sad.

Emmanuel Negedu, the last top-level recruit available for the Class of 2008, faced the same difficult choice as other top recruits: which major program will he give his soul for the next four three two some indefinite period of time?

After commanding the full attention of four top programs for the last month, Negedu finally made his decision yesterday, committing to play in Knoxville for Bruce Pearl and the Volunteers.

For Memphis and Arizona, two of the programs Negedu jilted, the news makes this week bittersweet. Both programs went 50-50 with players leaving early for the pros, and both could have used the services of the small-in-size but big-in-game power forward. For Indiana … Tom Crean’s search for any bodies willing to throw on an IU uniform continues.

But for Pearl, it’s celebration time, and for the media’s favorite coach, you know that can only mean one thing:

Time to hit the lake! Where’s Pat? Call Erin!

Is nice!

THE STORY EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT
Late Recruits Give Ringing Endorsements

With the draft intrigue now long passed (well, unless Mbah a Moute doesn’t hire an agent, then goes undrafted, then returns to school … [sigh] … ), we return our attention to the players who actually want to play college basketball.

With the recruiting season all but finished, only a few big names from the juco ranks remained up for grabs – and boy, they all committed to their new schools with unbridled joy! Just look at these statements:

From Charles Garcia, Jr., the newest member of the Washington Huskies: “I just didn’t want to deal with the whole recruiting process,” he said. “I wanted to get it out of the way.” That’s the spirit! Go UW!

From Roburt Sallie, now a Memphis Tiger – which isn’t too bad considering that the only reason he was available now was because Nebraska – that’s right, NEBRASKA – was forced to boot him under Big XII rules due to an administrative error. “For some reason, God didn’t intend me to play for Nebraska. I was dedicated to them and I still wish today I’d have the opportunity to play for them because they’re great.” See? A Tony the Tiger reference! He’s gonna love Memphis! And it’s natural to be pining after your homely ex after you start dating the cheerleader!

Finally, Kentucky transfer Derrick Jasper finally determined where his new home would be – and it will be in the desert, playing for Lon Kruger’s squad in Vegas. His supporters say he wanted to be closer to his Cali home. UK fans think he might have been too soft for Lexington. We think, given the destination, the reason behind the transfer is more basic:

Four more headlines, including plenty of legal action for the week, after the jump.

FOUR STORIES WORTH A FEW LINES APIECE

Look, Don’t Touch, and For God’s Sake Don’t Show – Kansas’ presumed floor leader for next season, Sherron Collins, was found liable in a civil suit for “exposing himself and rubbing against [the plaintiff] despite being told repeatedly to stop.” Bill Self had enough problems already, with four of his best players now in the draft – now he apparently needs to reteach Collins when it is appropriate to stick his body on a man.

Because Whistleblower Interviews Are All the Rage – Former O.J. Mayo hanger-on Louis Johnson met with officials from the NCAA, Pac-10, and USC over the weekend in what we’re sure was a friendly, jocular seven-hour probe. What types of questions do you imagine the USC attorneys were asking? “So … Mr. Johnson, do you prefer radical Islamic terrorism, or killing babies with your bare hands?”

Better Late Than Never – A late addition to the “returning to school” list from yesterday: Lester Hudson, who withdrew his name from the draft with nary a moment to spare. Hudson had hoped to go in the first round, but withdrew when NBA scouts told him they had no fucking clue where UT-Martin was.

A Deal with the Devil … – … but damned if we could tell you who is the devil and who just sold their soul: Comcast and the Big Ten Network appear to be near a compromise deal to put the rarely watched money-grubbing Jim Delany plaything boutique network on the Comcast premium sports tier after one season in its basic tier.

Second draft status update of the afternoon:

Clearly, the Profiles in Hubris leave their mark on players – first Danny Green softened his insistence that he would leave school, and now Gonzaga’s Jeremy Pargo has taken his name out of the draft. Pargo’s return means that for the first time in four years, the Zags will get their best player from the previous season back. Can’t hurt.

Joining Pargo back in the college ranks – Robert Dozier of Memphis. No surprise, as John Calipari said last week that he expected Dozier to return. But coupled with the return of Antonio Anderson, Dozier’s decision softens the blow from the loss of Derrick Rose and CDR.

Meanwhile, Richard Hendrix of Alabama announced he would stay in the draft without a first round guarantee. The All-SEC player who averaged a double-double last season has a good shot of making a team as a bench post player even from the second round, and even the most vociferous “stay in school advocates” can’t argue with a guy leaving who graduated in three years. Considering we needed every second of four years to get our undergraduate degree due to too much drankin’ the rigorous requirements, we simply say good on ya, Messr. Hendrix.

Also draftbound: Bill Walker of Kansas State is now formerly of Kansas State, as the redshirt freshman wing decided to stay in the draft despite a partial tear in his right meniscus that will prevent him from doing any more workouts before the draft. DraftExpress has him as the first pick in Round 2 right now, which isn’t too bad considering that earlier this year, insiders said he wasn’t ready for the draft at all ($).

The updated tables:

Decisions Unknown
A.J. Abrams, Texas (likely go)
Josh Akognon, Cal State Fullerton (likely go)
Ryan Anderson, Cal (likely go)
Chase Budinger, Arizona (50-50)
Derrick Caracter, Louisville (50-50)
DeMarre Carroll, Missouri (50-50)
Wayne Ellington, UNC (likely stay)
Paul Graham II, Florida Atlantic (likely stay)
Danny Green, UNC (likely stay)
Kalen Grimes, Missouri (50-50)
Lester Hudson, UT-Martin (50-50)
Reggie Huffman, UAB (50-50)
Ty Lawson, UNC (likely go)
Luc Richard Mbah a Moute, UCLA (50-50)
JaVale McGee, Nevada (likely go)
Courtney Pigram, ETSU (likely stay)
Walter Sharpe, UAB (likely stay)
Ronald Steele, Alabama (50-50)

Definitely Returning to School

Antonio Anderson, Memphis
Josh Carter, Texas A&M
Darren Collison, UCLA (who, admittedly, withdrew before the declaration deadline)
Lee Cummard, BYU
Robert Dozier, Memphis
Alonzo Gee, Alabama
Stefon Jackson, UTEP
Leo Lyons, Missouri
Jerel McNeal, Marquette
Jeremy Pargo, Gonzaga
Josh Shipp, UCLA
Robert Vaden, UAB
Lorrenzo Wade, San Diego State

A quick update to the table of who is in, who is out, and who is unknown:

UAB’s Robert Vaden will be announce at 2pm that he will head back to Birmingham in the fall. And frankly, who can blame him? Opportunity to develop an all-around game to compliment his outside shooting AND license to remain a Blazer for another year? Yes and yes.

Ooey-Pooey’s George Hill, however, announced over the weekend that he’ll stay in the draft without a guarantee of being drafted. Jeff Goodman, who pretty much is a God around this time of year, says Hill might not be crazy, since his draft ceiling is as high now as it ever will be. Hm. Profile in Hubris spiked, but we’re watching you, George.

Two lists we’ll keep updated throughout the day: first, the list of players who still might withdraw their names from the draft, with players of interest in bold:

A.J. Abrams, Texas (likely go)
Josh Akognon, Cal State Fullerton (likely go)
Ryan Anderson, Cal (likely go)
Chase Budinger, Arizona (50-50)
Derrick Caracter, Louisville (50-50)
DeMarre Carroll, Missouri (50-50)
Robert Dozier, Memphis (likely stay)
Wayne Ellington, UNC (likely stay)
Paul Graham II, Florida Atlantic (likely stay)
Danny Green, UNC (likely stay)
Kalen Grimes, Missouri (50-50)
Richard Hendrix, Alabama (likely stay)
Lester Hudson, UT-Martin (50-50)
Reggie Huffman, UAB (50-50)
Ty Lawson, UNC (likely go)
Luc Richard Mbah a Moute, UCLA (50-50)
JaVale McGee, Nevada (likely go)
Jeremy Pargo, Gonzaga (likely stay)
Courtney Pigram, ETSU (likely stay)
Walter Sharpe, UAB (likely stay)
Ronald Steele, Alabama (50-50)
Bill Walker, Kansas State (50-50)

Finally, here’s the current tally of formerly draft-eligible players definitely returning for next season:

Antonio Anderson, Memphis
Josh Carter, Texas A&M
Darren Collison, UCLA (who, admittedly, withdrew before the declaration deadline)
Lee Cummard, BYU
Alonzo Gee, Alabama
Stefon Jackson, UTEP
Leo Lyons, Missouri
Jerel McNeal, Marquette
Josh Shipp, UCLA
Robert Vaden, UAB
Lorrenzo Wade, San Diego State

WINNAR.

THE STORY EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT
Dear Cancer: Die. Love, Coaches

We normally struggle to make light of potentially fatal diseases – even we have depths to which we won’t stoop, much to the surprise of our wife – but we do call the lede “the story everyone is talking about,” and the news late Friday that UConn coach Jim Calhoun once again had cancer qualifies for such title.

Calhoun had already beat cancer twice – prostate cancer in 2003 and skin cancer in 2007 – by catching it early (good for cancer and chicken pox; bad for gonorrhea). This time, he alerted his doctor to a growth on his neck that was determined to be squamous cell cancer. Growth removed, radiation administered, and four weeks later, scans show his lymph nodes and skin to be cancer-free.

Upon hearing the news, Duke’s Mike Krzyzewski expressed relief – not only that his colleague was safe and would return to the sidelines, but also because Cancer’s third consecutive loss to Calhoun in a championship round gave it a slightly worse record than Coach K’s own 0-2 against Calhoun in games that count. (Not that we’re bitter.)

TWO STORIES THAT CAUGHT OUR EYE FOR NO GOOD REASON
Bowl Game Wins Not Required

When we saw the headline “It’s Official – Kevin White is Duke’s New AD” on DBR, we did a double take. Wait, Notre Dame’s Kevin White? The guy with a list of management and publicity blunders we can’t begin to list? A guy whose departure has Irish fans dancing in the streets? THAT Kevin White?

And then we thought about it some more, and it all makes sense. White’s three main attributes: a talent for developing non-revenue sports, cowardice and subservience to coaches of the school’s most powerful teams, and totally incompetence in football program development. My God, he’s PERFECT for Duke!

Hired on Name Recognition Alone

We had no similar surprise when Jeff Goodman broke that Billy Donovan was once again down one assistant coach at Florida – when you win two titles, your assistants tend to be a hot commodity. When Donovan filled the position within three days by poaching Shaka Smart, the lead assistant and recruiting director from Clemson … well, color us impressed. No indication that Smart will bring any talent with him to Gainesville besides his completely awesome name, but a solid hire by UF all the same.

FOUR STORIES WORTH ONE LINE APIECE

Anecdotal Analysis Always Right – We’re not saying the San Francisco Chronicle is wrong when they claim that former college stars rarely make good college coaches – but a little data would be nice, guys. Blogs can do it, so can you.

Does This Mean We’ll Start Outsourcing Mid-Majors? – Team China punishes Team Conference USA by 23 points in an Olympic tune-up, giving our future overlords three straight wins over the all-conference-well-sorta-cause-nobody-in-the-draft-was-there team.

We Wouldn’t Do That If We Were You – Rutgers extends head coach Greg Hill through 2012 based not on his on-court performance (20-39 in two years!) but on one good recruiting class. You would think a Jersey school would be more wary of awarding a no-show contract.

Mormons Get Dirty and Freaky – A Utah TV reporter’s mailbag contains some strong language from Ute and Cougar fans, but also a link that burned our corneas, so now we pass the pain along to you, fair reader.

Nightmare. Fuel.

No horns here – promise!

THE STORY EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT
On Getting Off Lawns and Turning Down Music

Levels of pain for coaches when recruits defect:

Bad: “I just want to be closer to home.” A lie, but a plausible lie that has nothing (publically) to do with the coach.
Worse: “I think I’ll be a better fit elsewhere.” Closer to the truth, with a mild jab at the coach and his system.
Worst: “I feel they’ve lied to me all along about the situation.” Dead-on honest, with a laser sight on the man in charge.

Such is life in Arizona, where Lute Olson continues to give the Bobby Bowden treatment to the program he brought to national prominence. Emmanuel Negedu, a forward from Nigeria and Top-40 recruit, asked out of his LOI to Arizona, citing the … well, the batshit-craziness of the program right now, even after receiving a person visit from Olson begging him to stay.

U of A’s AD will decide today whether or not to release Negedu from his commitment – which he should, unless he actually wants publicity for the family-friendly thriller he’s ghost writing, about the white man who forces a man in Africa to Arizona against his will for physical labor.

While his new assistants are singing out of the Good Graces songbook in an attempt to restore trust in the program, one has to wonder if U of A will have the same patience as Florida State with a coach who is past his sell-by date.

FOUR STORIES WORTH ONE LINE APIECE

The Untouchables, Now With Pocket Protectors – In what has to be the first time he’s ever supported bureaucracy, Mark Cuban proposes that the IRS should clean up amateur basketball, comparing player agents to Al Capone. (HT: Henry.)

Kinda Like the BCS, Only 5% As Stupid – Only five non-BCS conference schools (Memphis, Creighton, New Mexico, BYU and Dayton) crack the list of the Top 30 basketball programs by attendance this season, causing a protest from coaches who claim bigger programs use ineligible fans.

C-USA: Preferring Quantity Over Quality Since 2004 – Not content with cashing checks from big programs looking for a tomato can, ECU’s AD suggests that C-USA should expand from 1 great team and 11 shitty teams to 1 great team and as many as 17 shitty teams.

We’re Sure This Plays Well to the Readership – A Kansas City Star opinionista argues that KU should be stripped of the national title if current allegations against Darrell Arthur are true. In what we’re sure was an unrelated story, thrifty KU students and fans have begun using the Star as toilet paper.

CHOOSE!

THE STORY EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT
Ohio – More or Less Frightening Than Mexico?

The question above poses an odd query to anyone with neither affinity or hate for either locale – your corn comes from the former, your patently racist joke tortillas come from the latter. But if you drink heartily of the haterade this country prides itself on, then you likely have a fairly negative view of one or both of these locations, making a choice between them difficult.

More evidence to confuse the decision: in Ohio, college basketball players are shooting at police officers:

Akron basketball player Rydell Brooks was arrested early Sunday after shooting at police officers during a foot chase following a traffic stop.

Akron police said the 20-year-old Brooks ran from a car and fired several times as police officers chased him. He was being held in Summit County Jail and faces attempted murder and felonious assault charges.

We guess that he won’t be suiting up for the Zips anytime soon.

But in Mexico, you can get the shit beaten out of you by two American hoops players, and nobody will be charged because “all you people look alike”:

The person who was injured, a Michigan resident who was down there on an internship, still maintain it was [Portland State player Scott] Morrison who broke his jaw. He and his family are still seeking to have charges brought (if they can find anyone who can corroborate his story) and are looking into a civil action.

Protecting and serving Akron while fielding bullets from a bench guard, or taking slugs in a foreign land, first from a countryman and then from a shady judicial system? CHOOSE!

TWO OTHER STORIES THAT WE ENJOYED FOR NO GOOD REASON

All-Night Buffets in Boca Raton, Be Warned

The reports range in commitment level from “we love him, but we’re not in love with him” to a journalistic post-coital cigarette, but
Mike Jarvis appears to be the next head coach at Florida Atlantic.

Jarvis’ kissy talk about how much he loves the school and the area may well be a necessary part of the contract, considering how well FAU’s last big name lay worked out.

Our Nerd Hearts Swell with Blood

We’ve roundly enjoyed Dana O’Neil’s work since joining tWWL’s hoops crew from the Philadelphia Daily News, since she forgot to burn her journalism degree when setting up shop in Bristol. Her latest filing about the Cal Tech basketball team is particularly superb, and not just because it mentions the Kuiper Belt. (Though we’ll admit a certain fondness for astrophysics. What?)

No, we love this article for its self-deprecating tone (O’Neil admits she has no idea what these guys are saying when speaking about their research internships) and for it’s subtle shot at the deaf (“Caltech won just one game this year and it was against Gallaudet, the nation’s leading university for the hearing impaired.”) And because it gives us the excuse to post the following, evidence that even at Caltech you’ll find many an ill-spent youth, albeit in the other direction:

No Christmas in Memphis this year.

THE STORY EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT
When Looking East Mean Going West.
Our father’s favorite phrase in our youth? “Never let the facts get in the way of a good story.” Useful for a budding lawya, sure, but more useful still for rumor mongering in the off-season.

Late Wednesday, a local reporter in Memphis reported on his blog (journalists! blogs! mass hysteria!) that Memphis was in serious negotiations with the Big East to join the megaconference. (HT: Eamonn.) And it was a report! He had sources and confirmation and everything! Good story!

But with a big enough stage, the absence of facts becomes too glaring – and when the President of U of M and a spokesman for the Big East both deny any such negotiations (laughingly, no less) – well, we think that our friend Matt Stark will be working at MyFoxMemphis or its equivalent for a little while longer.

Don’t get us wrong – Memphis to the Big East makes sense. The Tigers would balance the football schedule, and since the conference is already too big for basketball, what’s another team if they actually bring quality with the quantity? And since the conference has already shown their indifference towards geographic common sense and academic prowess, Memphis’ two major weaknesses pose no problem!

Alas – not to be. Rumor on, fellow soldiers – but on this point, Memphis and its fans are reduced to early ’90s easy listening.

THREE OTHER STORIES WORTH ONE LINE APIECE

Dan Jock-Itch Lands Six Figures – Unfortunately not as a salary for the still-unemployed Dakich, but as a settlement from Indiana, which apparently has a larger “hush money” budget than any public institution we’re familiar with.

So Lute Won’t Be Completely Lonely – Arizona finally breaks down and hires an assistant coach, poaching Russ Pennell from rival Arizona State and tabbing Mike Dunlap of the Denver Nuggets as the new heir to the throne – since it worked out so well the last time Olson picked a guy with primarily NBA experience as his successor.

This is Why We Hate Ratings – Ratings are nasty things – they lead to shows like Friday Night Lights scraping for a spot on DirecTV, and they lead to smarmy articles declaring the return of American Gladiators to be epic fail. If you can’t get behind Jet, Crush, and Rocket Ball … we don’t know what to tell you. Perhaps you should be subjected to this hot tranny mass.

The off-season sometimes provides you with slim pickins – and when that happens, ain’t nothing you can do by ride that bomb all the way to the ground. Plus, real life has made strong demands on us today, so a-blogrollin’ we will go.

Today’s theme music – the exact opposite of how we feel these days as nuptials draw near:

Jarrett Carter may be our new favorite blogger, with two worthy posts at two worthy blogs – first, five reasons to keep the best D1 HBCU conference tournament in the Cackolack. We agree with him on all points, though we are saddened that the ACC Tournament won’t be in Greensboro, its rightful location. Atlanta is for bad traffic, gun crime, Tech fans, and SEC affairs – the ACC has no business dragging itself to such depths.

In worthy post #2, Carter asks if Gary Williams wants out of Maryland. Based on the offseason he’s had, as thoughtfully collected by the boys at DBR, who could blame him for wanting to get out with his reputation intact?

This is a bit old, but so is recruiting obsession – Mike DeCourcy breaks down the five spring signings that actually matter over at the SN. That one of said five impact players signed with Fresno Freakin’ State says all that is necessary about the current importance of the spring signing period.

In further evidence that as statistics increase, the result equals one, Yet Another Basketball Blog attempts to quantify coaching success based on recruiting and tournament play. Coach K underperforms! Tom Izzo does better than expected! Northwestern sucks! Oliver Purnell can’t beat competition with five breathing players! Surprises all around! (We kid. It’s a good piece that gives evidence to the conventional wisdom. But don’t expect a revelation.) (HT: RTC.)

Finally, while totally unrelated to college basketball, we love when two worlds collide – Above the Law, the preeminent blog in legal snark, links to Clay Travis, he of the CBS Spin on Sports column, as he gives law school selection advice. We link to this without comment, other than to say that given that Messr. Travis has abandoned the law to become a full-time sports writer, UVA Law should retroactively grant him admission.

After a few hours of sleep, a few hours of work, a few cups of coffee and reading more than a few other people’s takes, our final thoughts on last night’s championship game:

Not to be Debbie Downer, but … : You go on a date. Dinner? Mediocre. Dessert? Too small. Parking? Ridiculously expensive. But you get home, the action in the bedroom makes up for it all, and you chalk it up as a altogether excellent night. You then proceed to make the exact same plans the next time you have a night free of the rugrats. Are you lying to yourself a little? Yeah, but you are at least aware of it, and choosing to remember what matters most.

We understand this tendency of us fleshbots – but it makes for too-rosy-by-half reporting at times. The party line this morning was that last night’s game was excellent from start to finish, which is only half right. In the first half, Memphis couldn’t make (or create) a decent shot for Rose or CDR, and Kansas let them stay in the game with pisspoor rebounding. Neither team was passing the ball effectively (each team netted 11 steals, which is awfully high for a championship game, and there a dozen or so more available), and a Jayhawk team that normally relies on the deep ball shot a less-than-mediocre 13 percent from behind the arc.

So, yes, the ending of the game was fantastic, and deserves to be remembered as such. But let’s not pretend that we were watching 40 minutes of world-class basketball. (But, of course, that’s OK, because we got what we signed up for. We’re just being honest with ourselves.)

The Unsung Hero: Now, to shine a more positive light (because after all, we enjoyed the game, didn’t you?), where is the love for Darrell Arthur? We know that the MOP had to go to Mario Chalmers … it just had to … but Darrell Arthur was the real player of the game for Kansas. 20 points, 10 rebounds (5 offensive), solid defense in the paint? His play opened up the lane for Kansas, and more importantly allowed the Jayhawk perimeter players to concentrate on CDR and Rose.

Never let the truth get in the way of a good story: Not to pick up the flag in the never-ending bloggers vs. MSM war, but last night’s game provided a perfect example of how it is often a blogger who gets the story right. Every where we looked this morning, writers zoomed in on Memphis’ notoriously terrible free throw shooting as their raison de la mort. Gary Parrish at Sportsline? Free throws. Andy Katz at ESPN? Free throws. Weintraub and Feinstein? Inter alia, free throws. Even usually top level blogs, like Deadspin and Rush the Court, fell for the party line.

We aren’t saying that Memphis didn’t lose the game because of missed free throws – they did, at least in part – but it wasn’t due to their normal bad free throw shooting. In fact, their strategy seemed sound – the entire final two minutes, the ball stayed in the hands of their two GOOD free throw shooters, CDR and Derrick Rose. They just hit a streak of bad luck at the wrong time. MJD gets a tip of the cap, or theoretical dollars, or whatever it is we give out on the internet as prizes these days, for getting the nuance of this story right.

Our grandfather is fond of saying that he’d rather be lucky than good, and KU was both tonight. Lucky when they needed to – Memphis couldn’t make shots or free throws down the stretch, allowing the Jayhawks to overcome a 9-point deficit with 2 minutes left to send the game to overtime. Good when they needed to – Kansas kept up the momentum they stole all through the extra period, and put a foot to Memphis’ neck. Special kudos to Mario Chalmers and Darrell Arthur, both of whom played with the balls of a porn star all night.

As for Memphis – a fantastic season comes up one win short. No shame for this team – they did everything asked of them BUT win the national title. Not too shabby when you consider that tasks on their to-do list included “make up for playing in a shitty conference”, “put up with being underrated all season with a smile”, and “try not to laugh at Calipari’s slickback”.

More photos grabbed off the wire feeds after the jump. We’ll take the morning off from writing morning roundups, and be back with more thoughts on this game and a preview of the offseason in the afternoon.