Is nice!

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Late Recruits Give Ringing Endorsements

With the draft intrigue now long passed (well, unless Mbah a Moute doesn’t hire an agent, then goes undrafted, then returns to school … [sigh] … ), we return our attention to the players who actually want to play college basketball.

With the recruiting season all but finished, only a few big names from the juco ranks remained up for grabs - and boy, they all committed to their new schools with unbridled joy! Just look at these statements:

From Charles Garcia, Jr., the newest member of the Washington Huskies: “I just didn’t want to deal with the whole recruiting process,” he said. “I wanted to get it out of the way.” That’s the spirit! Go UW!

From Roburt Sallie, now a Memphis Tiger - which isn’t too bad considering that the only reason he was available now was because Nebraska - that’s right, NEBRASKA - was forced to boot him under Big XII rules due to an administrative error. “For some reason, God didn’t intend me to play for Nebraska. I was dedicated to them and I still wish today I’d have the opportunity to play for them because they’re great.” See? A Tony the Tiger reference! He’s gonna love Memphis! And it’s natural to be pining after your homely ex after you start dating the cheerleader!

Finally, Kentucky transfer Derrick Jasper finally determined where his new home would be - and it will be in the desert, playing for Lon Kruger’s squad in Vegas. His supporters say he wanted to be closer to his Cali home. UK fans think he might have been too soft for Lexington. We think, given the destination, the reason behind the transfer is more basic:

Four more headlines, including plenty of legal action for the week, after the jump.

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You’ll see. You’ll all see.

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Caution: Genius Recruiting at Work

Little of the news coming out of Lexington this offseason has made a lick of sense. We’ve already done some serious noggin’ scratching when Billy Gillispie inked a kid who hasn’t even started high school yet, but ol’ Billy Clyde may have one upped himself with his latest switcheroo:

First, UK loses its third player to transfer in six months, as guard Derrick Jasper confirmed his intent to transfer to a school that will let him play closer to his natural homes on the West Coast and at the point. UK now has to hope that incoming frosh DeAndre Liggins can qualify academically - he’s only been trying all year - or they kinda sorta don’t have a point guard for next year.

But don’t you fret, brave UK fan - Billy Clyde has a diabolical plan. Didn’t get all the way from El Paso to bluegrass in less than four years without cyborg-level genius that goes way beyond your level. And that genius tells him to sign up a transfer who couldn’t crack the starting lineup in the MEAC:

[Matt] Pilgrim is currently in Lexington on a visit. He is a talent, but was suspended this past season and one source close to the situation said Pilgrim is a “cancer”. Pilgrim started less than half of the 26 games he played and saw his numbers fall to 7.7 points and 5.2 rebounds.

“He was the most talented player in the league,” one source said. “But he’s a giant head case. I’m shocked Kentucky would take him.”

Oh, Mr. Anonymous Badmouth, of course you are shocked. How could you possibly comprehend the brilliant machinations of Billy Clyde? When the revolution comes and UK is the last left standing because of his moves, it will be he that has the last laugh - but true genius never boasts, friends, and that is why Billy sits in his office alone, plotting his next move while applying more Brylcreem than the entire cast of West Side Story.

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Stop the madness.

O.J. Mayo seems content to go about his NBA draft business these days - you can find pre-draft profiles of him hyah and hyah - but the saga of the alleged payments he received whilst still at Da U (West Coast Office) continues whether we like it or not.

The latest - the California state attorney general’s office has opened an inquiry into whether middleman extraordinaire Rodney Guillory was illegally using a credit card belonging to a sickle cell anemia charity when he was buying Mayo all his pre-pro schwag.

For all three of you who actually want to see Mayo go down for this - and you know who you are - calm yourselves. Despite getting involved in this mess, the AG’s office seems just as interested in prosecuting this case as Mayo was interested in staying in school:

Regarding Mayo’s possible culpability, ]special agent Danny] Kim earlier told ESPN.com, “I don’t think we want to go there. I don’t know if there’s any penal code charges we can charge him [with] for [accepting goods from Guillory with that card].”

He told The Times, “It’s not a big-priority case among all the things we do, I’m not even a big fan of college basketball, but I understand it’s important and we’ll get it checked out.”

Given the current state of the California state government, Agent Kim, we’ll expect your report back sometime after Mayo retires from the Association.

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Mayo Madness Continues

Because the chum bucket isn’t empty yet, the newsreel continues to focus squarely on Messr. Mayo and his handler / hanger-on / sugar daddy Messr. Guillary. With tWWL having presented the case in chief for the prosecution, we now prepare to hear the arguments of the defense. University of Southern California, your witness:

USC intends to tell the NCAA it knew of no wrongdoing involving O.J. Mayo and banned his mentor, Rodney Guillory, from receiving tickets as an illustration of its attempt to prevent the basketball star from receiving any improper benefits, according to sources. That will be the outline of the university’s defense, according to officials familiar with the situation.

[starts a slow clap] Brilliant, gentleman! The prosecution may have PROOF on its side, and they may be able to poke many holes in this argument, but we shall stun them with our brilliant rhetoric and good faith. Huzzah!

But really, though - this is an incredibly lame defense, and if it is the best that USC can come up with, than this quote makes a lot more sense:

“Right now, we’re just trying to weather the storm,” said a USC official, who asked not to be identified.

And we’re like, yeah, no shit.

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