Somewhere in California, and also kind of in a fever dream I had the other night.

GHOST OF GEORGE MARSHALL: Ashley Juuuuuudd!  I have a spoooky message to deliver from beyond the graaaaave!

ASHLEY JUDD: I don’t usually take messages from ghosts, but I’ll make an exception for a Nobel Prize winner!

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We know, we never post.  But seriously, nothing is going on right now.  It’s like exam week without the eligibility crises.

A STORY YOU MIGHT BE TALKING ABOUT: Oregon State Beaver fans: Help/Hope is on the way! this is a change you can believe in: Beavers coach Craig Robinson has landed what SI calls a “program-changing” recruit in Roberto Nelson.  Nelson turned down UCLA, Florida, tOSU and others to go to Corvallis.  How did Robinson land the kid?  After piquing Nelson’s interest by signing a Compton Magic teammate, Robinson used what some might call an unfair tactic: he acted like a decent human being.  Just speculating here, but Gary Williams is probably not impressed.

I’ve fired my assistants THIS MANY times since halftime!

OTHER THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED:

HE RECRUITS? ARP ARP ARP: Tommy Amaker has been cleared of recruiting violations at Harvard.  This is important, as he can now get back to the important business of making excuses and not getting anything out of those recruits.

NAMELESS RICHMOND ASSISTANTS NOT SO LUCKY: Some Spiders coaches have resigned due to text-y recruiting violations.  Former UR President Bill Cooper called the former assistants “mush” and recommended that the school deal with the problem by raising tuition 31%.

THIS IS AN ACTUAL MAJOR-CONFERENCE BASKETBALL STORY.  APOLOGIES.  Former Tarhole Alex Stepheson is a USC Trojan, and could play as early as this coming season.

UNC-ASHEVILLE WILL NOT BE MAKING A CLOVERFIELD SEQUEL: Reigning Big South Defensive Player of the Year (and just gigantic dude) Kenny George is probably out for his senior season with an infected foot.  While you and I might get an infected foot and spend some time off work playing Halo, neither you nor I are 7 feet 7 inches tall, so our feet are under considerably less stress.  This must be an infection of the Michael Crichton variety; 35S wishes a speedy recovery to George.

In closing: Don’t say there’s nothing to do in the doldrums.  It’s just. Not. True.

(EDITOR’S NOTE - As you may have surmised by the silence of this site for the last two weeks, we’re in the final throes of bar exam hell. We’ll be back and better than ever - or, at the least, 100% less burdened - on Thursday, but in the meantime we wanted to introduce you to the newest writer for these here interwebs, now_a_hoo. His obligatory “who I am and what I care about” piece, on his equal hatred for Duke and UNC, appears below.)

All-

I’m now_a_hoo, and I’ll be giving your friendly editor a few innings of relief from time to time while he starts his career and tries to have, y’know, a life.

How did I come into this privilege? The Italians (maybe) call it: il nepotismo. He and I used to be roommates. (Ed: Close enough. Actually, we still owe him for a few orders of chicken from Wayside, and he accepted a gig here as accord and satisfaction.)

A few things to get out of the way: James Madison undergrad, UVa for law school. My folks went to Michigan and I grew up in Virginia, so I came up with Michigan and Virginia basketball (during the Fab Five Never Happened and Jeff Jones eras, respectively).

Likes: UVa, Michigan, JMU, small schools, HBCUs, and brunch.
Loathes: tOSU, VPISU, MSU, Bob Knight, Ron Curry, Digger Phelps, snakes, the word “poon”, and ranch dressing.

So in the words of Steve Harvey, now that we got that shit out of the way, I have a confession to make: I’m an ACC basketball fan, but I’m neutral on Duke versus Carolina.

Before you get your Columbia- or Royal- Blue draws in a bunch, let me say this: everything you say about [Duke or Carolina, whichever you hate] is absolutely right.

But here’s the problem: It’s also 100% wrong.

It’ll be OK, Tyler.

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