THE STORY EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT
Parrish: “I Don’t Really Love Sports Anymore”

If you’re anything like us, there was one great mystery left unsolved in CBS’ decision to let Billy Packer go out to pasture – how on earth were they going to hold onto the dour curmudgeon demographic? Sure, the 18-24 kids are the advertiser’s wet dream, but a network like CBS can’t ignore its base of tapioca slurpers, can it? Without Packer, where were these viewers going to get the “darn kids these days” coverage they crave?

We should have known the network brass were smarter than us. Just like their ad revenue, CBS is simply moving their crass, disinterested reporting online, in the form of Gary Parrish. From an Q&A with 35S favorite A Sea of Blue:

I mean, sitting courtside at this years [sic] national title game [as a life-long Memphis fan] should’ve been one of the highlights of my life. But it wasn’t. I was indifferent to the whole thing, and I don’t say that in an attempt to prove I’m impartial. It kinda makes me sad, actually, because the main reason I wanted to be a sports writer was because I loved sports, and I don’t really love sports anymore.

Bravo, CBS. Bra-f’in-vo. Somewhere in LA, Bill Simmons is mouthing “I told you so”. Gary, put on some Eddie Vedder and let the indifference set in.

Three more headlines, including some Grade A fan gouging, after the jump:

THREE STORIES WORTH A FEW LINES APIECE

Now Available at Concessions: Snake Oil! – Last month, Drake’s athletic department announced price increases for basketball season tickets along with new PSL requirements for high-priced seats. Which makes perfect sense, given their surprising run to the Valley title, a first round loss, the departure of a beloved legacy coach for Providence, and the graduation of 60% of your point production. When the stock’s on the rise, the fans will wanna can be forced to invest!

Trent Johnson Better Really Like The Food in Baton Rouge – Look at the bright side, Trent – you’ll have time to finish setting up your new home. Taking a page from Duke’s oh-so-successful profitable book, the Bayou Bengals will be playing only two non-conference road dates, if you count a neutral site game against Texas A&M in Houston as a road game. (And we do!) When asked whether his new team needed to geaux on the road a bit more often to prepare for the tournament, Johnson showed his readiness for the LSU job by responding, “ESS-EEE-SEE SPEEEEEEEEEEEED!!”

Even We Aren’t Tasteless Enough to Make Refugee Jokes – John Riek, a coveted Sudanese center, committed to Cincinnati over the weekend, but won’t be available until the new year while he nurses a detached ACL. We’d wonder if Riek is disappointed to play college hoops after he originally declared for the draft, but at Cincinnati, we’re not entirely sure there is a difference.

Meanwhile, Teeng Akoi, a 6′11″ forward also from Sudan, is shopping middle America after failing to qualify academically at South Florida. Nick Saban may laugh at that concept, but for a foreign student, Akoi seemed to show sufficient knowledge of Nebraska’s geography:

“I think I can help them,” Akol told the Journal Star on Sunday. “I’m not familiar with everything, but I know they’re in the Big 12.”

Son, that’s more than enough to get you into a Husker jersey. Everything else you need to know, you can learn from Wakko.

We feel some sympathy for the Jayhawks, reviled by Tournament fans for holding off upstart Davidson and giving us the all-chalk Final Four that we currently enjoy. (We’re somewhat familiar with the sensation of everyone cheering against our team.) So we held their preview for last, hoping that cooler minds had prevailed. (We’re not convinced. We still haven’t put away our red and black banners. Sorry. We’ve never claimed impartiality.)

But there is great beauty in this Kansas team making its way to the Final Four. Bill Self, who has won everything but a Regional Final since first becoming a head coach at Oral Roberts (!) fifteen years ago, gets to pull a monkey off his back. Brandon Rush, who would be in the NBA were it not for a season-ending injury last spring, reaps a benefit for staying in school an extra year. And all of the KU fans we’ve met have been good-hearted, extremely knowledgeable fans who engage in surprisingly few couch burnings, considering they live in Lawrence.

But can they keep going and win the title? We turned to Cory from Rock Chalk Talk, who provided expert biased analysis as requested, and plenty of it. His responses to our questions, after the jump.

So, how did it feel to be the team that everyone was cheering against on Sunday? Any worries that there will be some carryover Davidson bias in the non-affiliated crowd in San Antonio?

I’ll admit, I wasn’t a big fan of being the Wicked Witch of the East. Or whoever is Cinderella’s enemy, or whatever. Obviously, being a fan of the Jayhawks, I understand that we are rooted against by the average fan far more often than the average fan turns on the TV and starts internally cheering for the Jayhawks, but this had a much different feel to it. Davidson, very similar to the 2006 version of the George Mason Patriots, had the feel of America’s team to it, and Stephen Curry looked like a thirteen year old that was thrilled to be playing varsity.

Plus, I consider myself a huge fan of the underdog, so it was doubly hard to root against a 10 seed in the Elite Eight. However, I doubt there will be much carryover in San Antonio. At least I’d like to think there won’t be.

On the scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “are you kidding me?” and 10 being “we’ve already begun looking for his replacement”, where do you rank your anxiety that Bill Self will actually consider the Oklahoma State opening? More importantly, are you worried that this could create a distraction similar to 2003 with Roy Williams and UNC?

I would say 1, but I have heard $5 million as a possible per-year salary, and that would be incredibly hard to turn down. Plus, the whole Roy Williams situation has kind of scarred me with the whole “returning home” business.

And no, I don’t think this distraction will approach Roy’s 2003 distraction. By that time, everyone and their brother knew about the whole scenario, and how Roy would “love” to return back home to his “dream” job of Carolina. Plus, North Carolina’s tradition is considerably greater than Okie State’s, and while Self-to-OSU would be a substantial step down, Roy-to-UNC was at worst a level move, and possibly a mini-step up. So, no, they are two very different situations IMO.

With an admittedly small sample size of games watched, the one worrisome trend we noticed was that the Jayhawks seemed to let their opponents determine the pace of the game, making some games closer than they should have been (or, indeed, turning them into losses, like the OSU game in February.) Assuming you agree (and feel free not to), are you worried about that for Saturday against a team that runs the floor as well as Carolina?

I’m actually really excited to run the floor with Carolina. Obviously, we won’t be a fan of Carolina’s incredibly frenetic, NBA-style pace, I don’t think anybody does, but we aren’t afraid to run. We have an interesting dynamic, where our players seem to play better (at least in my eyes) the faster we play, and seem to “enjoy” it more, while our coach has publicly said numerous times that he is a fan of slow, grind-it-out contests. So, not really sure which pace we “prefer”.

So no, I’m not worried about Carolina’s up-and-down style, but obviously we will have to slow it down at least somewhat.

That said, the one thing that has consistently impressed us about this KU team is their defense. With a couple of exceptions (all in-conference hiccups, most of which you won anyway), your defense has held opponents to right around 60 points a game. Besides the obvious talent of your players, what has been the key to KU’s success on defense?

That is a tough question for me to answer, for some reason. We don’t run any real tricky stuff, we ran some box-and-one against Davidson and Stephen Curry but that probably won’t happen the rest of the way out, and just play tough, man-to-man defense. Which relies almost exclusively on our players’ talent, an answer you have disqualified.

So, with that obvious answer not allowed, I will just go with the tremendously cliche “toughness”. We lost to UCLA last season because they out-toughed us, as the refs allowed more contact (a game I much prefer, not for KU’s benefit but just my opinion of how basketball should be called) and we didn’t know how to handle it, so we lost.

But this season, with a couple of exceptions, we have been the tougher team in almost all of the games, improving a ton on last year’s team. Some of that has to do with the departure of Julian Wright, who was as thin as a toothpick and wasn’t a big fan of roughing it up with bigger, stronger players, but it also has to do with another year of maturity and all that jazz.

So, “toughness”, I guess. (Ed. – We put Cory between a rock and a hard place here. We appreciate that he at least felt guilty falling back on toughness as an explanation. This is the difference between him and Jay Bilas. That, and an ACC career and possibly a law degree – but we’ll admit there is a lot about Cory we don’t know.)

You’ve given some pretty high praise this past week to Sasha Kaun, KU’s streaky center who you begged to be benched for most of the regular season. Do you think the light bulb just turned on for him once the tournament started, or what? Is there another player who may similarly “make the leap” this weekend?

Say it out loud; lie and say you don’t love it.

Sasha, Sasha, Sasha. As you noted, I have been on his case all season long, but he proved me wrong big time in Detroit, putting together the two best individual games of his career back-to-back. As to why he suddenly broke out, I can’t really tell you. I would assume it would be some combination of him growing as a player (he didn’t start playing basketball until he was a sophomore in high school after growing up in Russia) and him finally “getting” the one-and-done mentality of the Tournament. It seems silly, but there was an article in the Kansas City Star a week or so ago about how Sasha didn’t realize the heartbreak involved in the Tournament until last year’s loss to UCLA. I don’t know if that has any impact whatsoever on his breakout, or if he just capitalized on playing two really short teams, but it is interesting to talk about.

If anyone “makes a leap” this weekend, it would be Sherron Collins. And that only happens if he becomes healthy, a seeming impossibility this season. Most experts around the nation had him as a breakout player this season, and I generally agreed, especially since he was going to have some extra opportunity early in the season because of Brandon Rush’s early injury. But in the second game of the season he thought he sprained his ankle, so he went in for an MRI. Turned it out he had an stress fracture in his foot from a completely unrelated incident, and once he came back from that he bruised his left knee. Then hurt his right knee. Then, in Detroit, he labored through the two games suffering through tonsilitis. However, if he is healthy, he is one of the quickest guards in the country, and could be just as good as Ty Lawson next season if he can stay healthy.

Fill in the blank – If we get Tyler Hansbrough in foul trouble in the first half, I’ll be confident that we’ll defeat UNC.

All season long I have considered Psycho T overrated, but Saturday’s game against Louisville was pretty impressive. Still, their front line isn’t all that deep after Psycho T, and their offense is almost completely reliant on his production. So, as long as we can get a couple of fouls on him early, we should be able to walk away with a W.

Fill in the blank – If we are missing our three-pointers in the first half, I’ll be extremely worried.

As talented as we are, when we aren’t nailing our shots from the perimeter we become a pretty average offense. And while defense isn’t North Carolina’s strong suit, they are certainly talented enough to shut down our offense if we don’t force them to respect the outside J. So, the game hinges on three-point shooting in my eyes. I just didn’t want to put it down for two questions (6 and 7).

Finally, settle this once and for all: are KU fans still pissed off at Roy Williams? And, either way, is this game more important because the Jayhawks are playing the Tar Heels?

Ah. I already kind of hinted at the first part of the question, as far as my opinion, but it completely differs based on who you ask. Some people are still incredibly pissed off at the man, calling him ‘Benedict Williams’ and considering him a traitor. This is ridiculous, considering how often coaches switch places and all, and he never was shy about the fact that North Carolina was his dream job.

And no, at least IMO, this game is no bigger because Roy is on the other end of the sideline. I love the man, but he is just another coach in my eyes, one of my favorite non-Self coaches sure, but just another coach, and playing him would make the victory no sweeter. I don’t want any revenge or any of that, I just want a Final Four victory. And I would want it just as bad if we were playing some team we had never played before ever in the Final Four.

We’ve been saying for a while now that we think that UCLA is the most talented team in the country, but that we’d believe they could win the national championship when they hoisted the trophy and cut down the nets in San Antonio. While you wouldn’t know it from their schedule sheet (not too many close final scores), the Bruins have let a ton of teams hang around far deeper into the game than the pregame matchup would suggest. Add the pressure building from two straight years of playing bridesmaid to the Gators, and we feel justified in our skepticism even while amazed by their skills.

But are Bruins fans feeling the same? We talked with Jamie from Bruin Scoop, who was kind enough to offer a ground level perspective. Her answers to our questions are after the jump.

How many heart attacks have you had watching this UCLA team? We can’t remember a team that played in so many closer-than-they-should-be games.

You have no idea. Not only was it the heart attacks watching the games, but it was the heart attacks in anticipation of the games. For a team as good as the Bruins, those games should never have been that close. I’m still recovering from the Texas A&M game.

Do UCLA fans feel like they’ve just gone all in at a poker table? Given the high expectations, can victory possibly be as sweet as losing would be crushing? (Forgive us – we were born in Cleveland, so we’re fatalists when it comes to sports.)

Victory would be extremely sweet, especially after making it this far for the past two years, but faltering when it mattered most. The only time I could say that a loss would be ultimately crushing would be if Kevin Love went to the NBA following this season. This is the team that has the potential to win it all, so a loss would definately drive a dagger into our hearts, but only more so if Love doesn’t return.

Even with all that pressure, and all those close calls, here you are in your third straight Final Four. People gush over Ben Howland, but what is it that he’s doing to keep the wins rolling in? Is it preparation, strategy, in-game strategy, etc.

Ben Howland has been utilizing the same game-plan he has used since day one. The man isn’t afraid to take chances. The Bruins are usually a defense-first team. The Bruins aren’t always known for putting points on the scoreboard, but they keep the opposition from scoring. (Sorry Mississippi Valley State!) Howland also always has his teams well conditioned. Kevin Love and Darren Collison play almost every minute of every game, and yet they are always the leading scorers.

It seems like every member of this team has gotten a load of media attention. Is there a player who has flown under the radar who is key to the team’s success? (And Russell Westbrook is off limits – once you get pimped by Simmons, it’s over.)

I think it might be Luc Richard Mbah a Moute. Josh Shipp is another that is overlooked, but Mbah a Moute is one member of the team who has been to all three Final Fours. He was UCLA’s big man before Kevin Love came in. When he went down with a sprained ankle, you could see the Bruins weren’t functioning as a whole. I believe one of the big reasons why the Bruins played in close games in the tournament was because he wasn’t at 100%. In the game against Xavier, Mbah a Moute threw down a double-double, and the Bruins won by 19 points.

(Ed. – As a Hoya alum who cheered for Ruben Boumtje-Boumtje while he was in school – the man so nice they named him twice! – we endorse the selection of Mbah a Moute on name alone.)

Obviously, Collison and Westbrook are skilled defenders, but Derrick Rose and Chris Douglas-Roberts are tough matchups given their speed and size. How will UCLA slow down Memphis’ scorers?

Honestly, there isn’t many ways you can stop them-only Tennessee has done it. The Bruins need to get off to a fast start, in hopes of frustrating the Tigers, who seem to get that way a lot. My only opinion is to have Kevin Love help guard them on the perimeter, and let Mbah a Moute guard Joey Dorsey in the paint. Love is a skilled defender, and double-teaming them might be the only option.

Fill in the blank – If Josh Shipp can put points on the board in the first half, I’ll be confident that UCLA will beat Memphis.

Fill in the blank – If Kevin Love can’t score against Joey Dorsey in the first half, I’ll be extremely worried.

(Ed. – Interesting to us: both Jamie and Sadie said that losing the Dorsey-Love matchup was their main worry. So watch the post tomorrow night, folks.)

Last one – describe your optimal celebration on Monday night if UCLA takes home the title.

At the age of 19, I can’t answer this truthfully without legal repurcussions. Let’s just say that I won’t be attending class the next morning!

We think we understand what’s she’s driving at.

You know what’s delicious with crow? Barbecue sauce, and lots of it. Strong on spice, just the right amount of sugar and rich in flavor – anything that kill the awful taste of being wrong.

Anything to make the pain go down more easily.

Sufficit to say, we were wrong about the Tigers; we thought a conference season’s worth of weak opponents would leave them ill-prepared for the tournament, but, we suppose that’s the beauty of the tournament. After a close call against Mississippi State in the second round, they’ve breezed their way to the Final Four.

For a much more informed view on the Tigers as we get ready for Saturday, Sadie was kind enough to provide some expert biased opinion. Her responses to our questions come after the jump.

Were you surprised by the margins of Memphis’ victories in the last two rounds? It seemed like after the Mississippi State game, the Tigers played with a chip on their shoulder that they haven’t had all season.

No. I was present at those Regional games in Houston, and while I was certainly pleased with the way they played, I wasn’t truly surprised. I was relieved, though, following their less than inspired performances in the first two rounds. Call me a homer (trust me, I deserve it), but I really believe that the Tigers can beat anyone when they play their best ball. It just so happens that they played their best those two days.

And they definitely have a chip on their shoulder, and at least partially rightly so. Calipari may like to play up the “us against the world” idea, but it’s clearly true that very few “experts” thought the Tigers would make it that far. Several picked us to lose to Mississippi State, even more to Michigan State, and nearly EVERYONE picked Texas over the Tigers. They’re playing like they have something to prove because they do.

All week, mostly because it’s an easy story, the media has said that making the Final Four validates the job that John Calipari has done since coming to Memphis. Do the fans actually feel this way? Did he need to make a Final Four for you to believe that Memphis basketball was back?

Yes, I think most fans probably do feel that way. If they hadn’t made the Final Four, most fans would have felt like the team didn’t live up to their potential this year, especially considering the Tigers have been ranked no lower than #3 since the preseason. The Final Four was where we thought this team could go.

However, I don’t think Cal would have been run out of town on a rail if they hadn’t made it, it just would have been a disappointing finish. After two years in the Elite Eight, the Final Four was generally seen as the next step, and to not take that step would have stung. On the other hand, it’s been 23 years since the Tigers have been to the Final Four, it’s not like we’ve gone every year for decades. It still felt just a little like a dream when I watched them cutting down nets in Houston on Sunday afternoon.

Was there a point somewhere in the season where you genuinely started to believe this team could win the title?

Well, I did make hotel reservations for San Antonio back in October. But that’s just my ridiculous optimism, because I tend to think every year is THE year (even though THE year hasn’t happened in 23 years). But when it moved past optimism to true belief – I would have to say it was over the course of a few games in December (Georgetown and Arizona). By the first of the year I was starting to really believe it.

On the offensive side of the ball, we think Memphis and UCLA are pretty evenly matched, especially at the guards. What do you think Memphis needs to do to create scoring opportunities for Chris Douglas-Roberts and Derrick Rose?

The key is to balance the offense – when Robert Dozier is scoring, Joey’s getting offensive rebounds, and Antonio Anderson is hitting threes, it makes it a lot easier for CDR and Rose to get those opportunities. That’s pretty obvious, of course, and really a lot of it has to do with the guys themselves: are they calm, relaxed, focused? They beat themselves more often than they are beaten.

On the defensive side of the ball, though, we see some pretty distinct mismatches down low. Do you think Joey Dorsey can guard Kevin Love (and, importantly, keep him away from the offensive glass) all game? If not, what will the Tigers need to do to compensate?

Yes, I think Joey can. He’s got a big point to prove, and I can guarantee you that he won’t be calling Love out pre-game with talk of David & Goliath. After his poor performance against Greg Oden last year, Joey is ready to show what he can do on a big stage. But, he’ll need help and I think he’ll get it. Robert Dozier is underrated defensively and Shawn Taggert has been stepping up, especially against Texas. Also, Andre Allen is a bulldog and Antonio Anderson is not given nearly enough credit for the defensive spark he provides.

Fill in the blank – If the players are relaxed and having fun in the first half, I’ll be confident that Memphis is going to beat UCLA.

Fill in the blank – If Joey Dorsey is frustrated and unfocused in the first half, I’ll be extremely worried.

Final question so you can have a little fun – what would you say to the folks who downgraded Memphis for being in C-USA all season – you know, folks like us? (We’re idiots, by the way.)

I’d say… thanks for planting that very big chip on the Tigers’ shoulders! I’d also say that it hasn’t stopped just because we’re in the Final Four. There’s still a perception that we don’t belong there, despite the way we dismantled Michigan State and Texas. For example, Joe Gergen, from Newsday wrote, “If we were talking families here, the first three would be the Rockefellers, the Carnegies and the Stanfords; Memphis would be the Clampetts.”

And I can’t respond any more fittingly than Geoff Calkins, a writer for Memphis’ newspaper, The Commercial Appeal:

“A beagle won the Westminster dog show. A former stripper won the Oscar for best original screenplay.

Who says a basketball team from Memphis can’t win the NCAA championship?

And when it happens, really, no need for the rest of you to apologize.

In the words of Jed Clampett: ‘I reckon you done what you done because you didn’t know we was who we was.’”

Truer words have never been spoken.

You know, they’ve been overrated all season. They got bonked by a terrible Maryland team at home, and depantsed by a deeply flawed Duke team. And who cares that they blew out their first four opponents in the tournament? Two of those teams were barely mediocre, and every squirrel finds a nut. Maybe Pitino was drunk Saturday night. We’ll never know.

Ah, dammit, who are we kidding? We’ve said it before, so we might as well say it again (and again through clenched teeth) – Carolina has put on an absolute show during the first two weeks of the tournament, and comes in playing better basketball than any other amateur team in the land.

But that doesn’t mean much once the ball is tipped, and frankly we’re gonna feel weird saying anything else positive about our sworn enemy. So for a better bead on what to look for from the Tar Heels this weekend, we asked Tar Heel Fan for some expert biased opinion. His responses to our questions come after the jump.

First of all, it’s fair to say that Carolina dominated its first four opponents in the tournament, including a couple of teams that you probably didn’t expect to put away so easily. Any worry that karma is going to switch the tables on your guys?

I don’t do karma myself…it gives me a rash. As for UNC, I do not recall a tournament since the field went to 64/65 where UNC won their first four games by double digits. I have seen the offensive display we in Raleigh for two games before but in the regional rounds UNC usually sees tighter games. At this point they usually have that one game they were in actual danger of losing. That has not been the case so far in this tournament and I am unsure what to make of it.

Certainly, they are playing well but my greater concern is the weird game where things that have not been a problem all season all of sudden are a problem: Hansbrough getting three fouls in the first half, or Roy putting Marc Campbell in at point for any reason other than a 30 point lead. I guess what some folks might call that karma, I tend to think of as a general choke job.

Speaking of karma – on a scale of 1 to 10, where do you rank the (a) karma implications and (b) actual importance of the Heels facing Roy Williams’ former team, Kansas?

Less then zero on both. Again, no karma for me, and since none of the players or coaches at Kansas were there when Roy was coaching in Lawrence, it is largely a Kansas fan issue. Now if you want to talk about the fact we stole Dean Smith from them, you might be on to something.

We’re not sure any Carolina player can truly go under the radar, but Tyler Hansbrough’s stardom has certainly absorbed some of the attention that would otherwise go to other players. Who is the most underrated member of this Tar Heel squad?

I’d like to think Danny Green, even though he gets called the best sixth man in the ACC on a regular basis. However, he seems to be forgotten by the opposing coach at various points this season. Tony Bennett certainly did not pay much attention to him, and he scorched Washington State when he came into that game. Marcus Ginyard only gets credit for his defense, but against Louisville he had some rebounds and putbacks that helped UNC build their early lead.

This Carolina squad is led by a couple of players who probably could have gone pro earlier – and, now that we think about it, it really seems that Roy Williams’ squads (both at UNC and Kansas) have avoided the “one and done” players that seem to populate a lot of your peer programs. How do you think UNC has weathered this trend, and kept its players (and team leaders) in school for at least three years?

It has not been wholly avoided since Brandan Wright left after one year and Marvin Williams did the same in 2005. (Ed. – Oops. We have the memory of a gnat.) I think Roy has decided to recruit guys up and down the spectrum to create a mix of good and elite players. Players like Ginyard, Green, Alex Stepheson and Deon Thompson provide a good foundational base and fill roles with the Ty Lawson’s and Wayne Ellington’s coming in for 2 years and giving them the talent edge to put them over the top.

In the case of Tyler Hansbrough, I think he is simply the perfect storm of being (a) a tremendous college player from day one with (b) a lower NBA upside that keeps him in school. Add to that the fact his home situation does not push him to go after the money as readily as some others feel the need to do.

Announcers like to say that teams “need to play their game” to win. First of all, is that true for the Tar Heels, or can they adapt to another team’s style? If it is, what exactly is Carolina’s game?

Run, run, run. Roy likes for his teams to push the ball as fast as possible. In fact he was on record last season as saying he wanted 100 possessions per game which is simply insane when you consider they scored 108 on Arkansas with less than 70. Because all the players run the floor so well, it pays for UNC to be out there pushing the basketball. I also think as much as UNC’s defense is maligned, the up-tempo actually is part of that since it throws teams out of sync trying to defend a running team which leads to tired legs.

In terms of playing alternate styles, the Washington State game in the Sweet Sixteen should have put the notion that UNC is only great when they run to rest. The media hype heading into that game was all about how UNC would struggle with the WSU tempo and defense. As it turns out UNC plays some good defense themselves and the tempo was just fine. The same thing was then said about UNC having to handle the way Louisville played and that turned out to be far less daunting than the media hype made it sound.

Fill in the blank – If the offense is balanced between Hansbrough and the outside shooting in the first half, I’ll be confident that Carolina is going to beat Kansas.

Fill in the blank – If Ellington and Green fail to get off the bus in the first half, I’ll be extremely worried.

Finally, just how many first born children has Chapel Hill sacrificed to feed Pyscho T and keep him off the streets the last three years? (Sorry – we couldn’t resist.)

You see, right there is why bloggers have a bad name – you spread false information and rumor that you probably picked up off some Duke message board. I know for a fact not a single child has been harmed to appease Tyler Hansbrough. The truth is he prefers live puppies, preferably from some type of large breed.

Sorry, pup.