Where have we been?  Minding our own business, and you?  We’ll try to make sure it doesn’t become a habit.

THE STORIES MOST ARE TALKING ABOUT

Coach K won a medal (with players who openly accept money for play, how gauche), Tom Crean got money (and cried himself to sleep), San Antonio got money (from the Final Four) and STOP THE PRESSES THE NCAA IS ON THE CASE!  Fire up the sirens and ready a perp walk!  Someone put a body on Jerry Tarkanian!   The NCAA is considering cracking down on “package deals.” This has nothing to do with calendars of your school’s water polo team, nor with East German Olympians*, it’s about the not-the-end-of-the-world-but-more-than-a-little-icky practice of hiring a kid’s coach as an inducement to get him to sign with your school (something we’ve touched on nyeah).  Now that the NCAA is on the case, I’m sure ACC and Big 12 schools will continue this practice without feeling any heat, and eventually an HBCU or a school in the Northeast with “St.” in its name will be put on probation when a coach puts his son on the team.  We can also be sure that Bob Ley is going to be deeply disappointed in someone.

What’s so bad about welding?  URI got to take Lamar Odom, fer chrissake!

THE STORIES I CARE ABOUT

Lars got dooced (impact: meh, for everyone but fans who only like sweaty white guys, and the bartenders at The Virginian, for whom this is an unmitigated disaster).  Tunji’s back (impact: yay, now that Lars is gone).  Will’s going to tranfer (impact: dammit, I liked that guy).  Jeff Jones gets money (the former coach, not the guard; that would be a much bigger story).  Dave Leitao plays golf, which is disppointing.  Golf’s nice and all, but let’s not confuse it with something men do.

*For my next post: what’s the deal with airline food? and how WASP-y is Vice President Bush?

THE STORY EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT

Wait a second … that doesn’t seem right after several days off … let’s try that again:

ALL THE CRAP THAT’S HAPPENED IN THE LAST WEEK

That’s better. Quick roundup of the biggest stories, with a little link love for our brother blogs:

Paul Hewitt Stands Tall, States the Obvious

At last week’s meeting of the Knight Commission (the body studying academic standards for NCAA athletics), Georgia Tech coach Paul Hewitt earned a lot of press by voicing controversial, even shocking, opinions about all that is wrong with the current student-athlete model. Radical stuff, like “Eligibility rather than academic growth has become our biggest concern”, and “Agents are turning college campuses into the Wild West.” Whoa, whoa, Paul … drop one bomb at a time, baby, we weren’t prepared. Hang on, we’ll sit down. OK, go on:

“While I like to see everyone who reaches college earn a degree,” Hewitt said, “we need to find more effective ways to achieve our goals. I do have a problem with putting numbers out there, saying ‘Meet these numbers or else. You’re turning education into a race.”

Phew … radical, radical man. You’re lucky you didn’t lose your job for saying crazy stuff like that.

Of course Hewitt is right, and we all know he’s right – it’s just that no one in the powers that be care, since they can’t hear him over the sound of cash registers. And Hewitt had some thoughts about that as well:

[Hewitt] said he’d like to see basketball become a one-semester sport and that coaches overall would like to see a shorter schedule, but he admitted it’s “not going to happen” because of the lucrative television money that comes from playing more games, even in early November.

Whoa, Paul – we were with you right up until you suggested cutting games. We have a habit to feed, you know. Crazy talk like that will get us back on the harder junk.

Third draft update of the afternoon, and it’s a doozy for Duke fans ACC fans really everyone but Carolina fans: the UNC trio of Wayne Ellington, Danny Green, and Ty Lawson will be returning to Chapel Hill as a group, according to Jeff Goodman. Unsurprising for Green, kinda surprising for Ellington, quite surprising for Lawson, who seemed intent on staying in the draft. Clearly, last week’s driving after drinking incident had an effect on his prospects and his decision.

With the national semifinalists now returning every valuable scorer from last year’s team and improving their bench to boot, they must be the prohibitive favorite to win the title next year.

Excuse us for a moment.

Tar Heel Championship or Seppuku? Hm. Give us a minute.

Decision Unknown

A.J. Abrams, Texas (likely go)
Josh Akognon, Cal State Fullerton (likely go)
Ryan Anderson, Cal (likely go)
Chase Budinger, Arizona (50-50)
Derrick Caracter, Louisville (50-50)
DeMarre Carroll, Missouri (50-50)
Paul Graham II, Florida Atlantic (likely stay)
Kalen Grimes, Missouri (50-50)
Lester Hudson, UT-Martin (50-50)
Reggie Huffman, UAB (50-50)
Luc Richard Mbah a Moute, UCLA (50-50)
JaVale McGee, Nevada (likely go)
Courtney Pigram, ETSU (likely stay)
Walter Sharpe, UAB (likely stay)
Ronald Steele, Alabama (50-50)

Definitely Returning to School

Antonio Anderson, Memphis
Josh Carter, Texas A&M
Darren Collison, UCLA (who, admittedly, withdrew before the declaration deadline)
Lee Cummard, BYU
Wayne Ellington, UNC
Alonzo Gee, Alabama
Danny Green, UNC
Stefon Jackson, UTEP
Ty Lawson, UNC
Leo Lyons, Missouri
Jerel McNeal, Marquette
Josh Shipp, UCLA
Robert Vaden, UAB
Lorrenzo Wade, San Diego State

WINNAR.

THE STORY EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT
Dear Cancer: Die. Love, Coaches

We normally struggle to make light of potentially fatal diseases – even we have depths to which we won’t stoop, much to the surprise of our wife – but we do call the lede “the story everyone is talking about,” and the news late Friday that UConn coach Jim Calhoun once again had cancer qualifies for such title.

Calhoun had already beat cancer twice – prostate cancer in 2003 and skin cancer in 2007 – by catching it early (good for cancer and chicken pox; bad for gonorrhea). This time, he alerted his doctor to a growth on his neck that was determined to be squamous cell cancer. Growth removed, radiation administered, and four weeks later, scans show his lymph nodes and skin to be cancer-free.

Upon hearing the news, Duke’s Mike Krzyzewski expressed relief – not only that his colleague was safe and would return to the sidelines, but also because Cancer’s third consecutive loss to Calhoun in a championship round gave it a slightly worse record than Coach K’s own 0-2 against Calhoun in games that count. (Not that we’re bitter.)

(more…)

As we close out our last week in academia for at least good long while, we take a few minutes to peer around the other campuses of this fine nation.

Today’s them music is less music and more battery, for the enjoyment of the Japanese reality viewer:

Top billing properly goes to Charles at Fanhouse, who plucked a gem off YouTube of Bobby Knight giving hiring advice to Florida Atlantic’s AD. Click on over to check it out (we believe in spreading the love). Best line by far: “Rick Majerus has a lot of bullshit.” And shit made of many other substances, because Rick Majerus, you see, is very fat.

Loathe as we are to give any credit to men in orange, we respect genius where we see it. A plan to reorganize the Big East to prepare for Memphis’ totally-not-happening entry – one division for the old Big East, one for all the “East” teams added under Mike Tranghese’s leadership – qualifies. The boys at Troy Nunes is an Absolute Magician are awarded point, and not just for having a blog named after a mediocre quarterback from six years ago.

We haven’t started to prep for the NBA draft yet, mostly because we don’t buy into tWWL’s system of “two months hype + two minutes actual content = profit”, but Rakes of Mallow makes an interesting observation – the early declare list for the draft is oddly bereft of Big East players. Outside of addition-by-subtraction Derrick Caracter, no Big East player has declared and hired an agent. This trend is made easier when the conference only has enough talent to beat Duke, but not enough to beat Siena and Davidson. (Not that we’re bitter.)

Oddly silent are the Kansas blogs, in the wake of reports that center Darrell Arthur needed good ol’ fashioned cheatin’ improper academic assistance to keep from failing high school. RTC notes that the allegations probably won’t affect KU, but still – you’d think they’d chime in on this, right? What happened to blogs being about speed and cruelty?

We’re off for the weekend, per usual – but we’ll be back on Monday, with this site being 100% more lawyerly.

Perhaps an ill-advised cover shoot.

THE STORY EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT
Inconceivable!

Pop quiz to start your weeks, ladies and gentlemen – and we don’t want to hear any complaining, because if you’ve been reading the assigned material, this one will be easy: Which of the following post-season events, all related to one Ovinton J’Anthony Mayo, was the most predictable? Was it …

A) His decision to go pro after one year at USC?
B) An investigation by tWWL revealing Mayo received thousands of dollars worth of benefits from a sports agency’s middleman?
C) The post-investigation denial of wrongdoing by Mayo?
D) The hand-wringing column from Pat Forde decrying the lack of ethics by Mr. Mayo and USC?

If you answered (D), congratulations. Clearly, the most predictable of all these events was the column, for the Louisville Loudmouth is like a well-oiled machine, students – steely and efficient to be sure, but deadly and fear-inducing. Our guess is that Forde wrote yesterday’s column three years ago, while Mayo was still a Appalachian lad, and simply edited to include the relevant facts in record. Had nothing newsworthy happened, he would have found a reason to post the column anyway.

If you answered anything but (D), for shame. With all the evidence we have about the NCAA’s successful oversight of ethical conduct (99% of athletes haven’t been caught yet!), that O.J. might receive illicit benefits was … well, we’ll let Vizzini explain:

TWO STORIES THAT INTERESTED US FOR NO GOOD REASON
No Wonder He’s Recruiting Middle Schoolers

Last week, we noted that while transfer #1 may be ignored as a fluke for any program, transfer #2 can be properly viewed as a sign of trouble brewing. (We noted this in reference to our own alma mater, so maybe red flags jumped up too early, but still.) We control-c, control-p this advice again today as Kentucky announced two player transfers over the weekend.

Marginal players seeking greener pastures and more playing time? Perhaps. But given Billy Gillespie’s youth-oriented recruiting strategy – with commitments for every class through the next presidential administration now on the books – perhaps these gentlemen wanted to get out of Lexington before being replaced by zygotes.

It’s Only Hubris If You Can’t Back It Up

After a week unintentionally filled with Carolina-fueled stories, apparently our subconscious mind felt it necessary to offer equal time to the Blue Devils, which inevitably leads to much silliness. Case in point – a beautifully homer-tastic look by DBR at the so-called Duke Curse, in the wake of Huggy Bear’s slip-and-fall at the Greensboro airport last week.

We applaud the research efforts of DBR and their affiliates. However, tracking a would-be curse on each team that eliminates your squad in the tournament sounds like a more academic approach to the old standby chant for fans of the losing team:

The off-season sometimes provides you with slim pickins – and when that happens, ain’t nothing you can do by ride that bomb all the way to the ground. Plus, real life has made strong demands on us today, so a-blogrollin’ we will go.

Today’s theme music – the exact opposite of how we feel these days as nuptials draw near:

Jarrett Carter may be our new favorite blogger, with two worthy posts at two worthy blogs – first, five reasons to keep the best D1 HBCU conference tournament in the Cackolack. We agree with him on all points, though we are saddened that the ACC Tournament won’t be in Greensboro, its rightful location. Atlanta is for bad traffic, gun crime, Tech fans, and SEC affairs – the ACC has no business dragging itself to such depths.

In worthy post #2, Carter asks if Gary Williams wants out of Maryland. Based on the offseason he’s had, as thoughtfully collected by the boys at DBR, who could blame him for wanting to get out with his reputation intact?

This is a bit old, but so is recruiting obsession – Mike DeCourcy breaks down the five spring signings that actually matter over at the SN. That one of said five impact players signed with Fresno Freakin’ State says all that is necessary about the current importance of the spring signing period.

In further evidence that as statistics increase, the result equals one, Yet Another Basketball Blog attempts to quantify coaching success based on recruiting and tournament play. Coach K underperforms! Tom Izzo does better than expected! Northwestern sucks! Oliver Purnell can’t beat competition with five breathing players! Surprises all around! (We kid. It’s a good piece that gives evidence to the conventional wisdom. But don’t expect a revelation.) (HT: RTC.)

Finally, while totally unrelated to college basketball, we love when two worlds collide – Above the Law, the preeminent blog in legal snark, links to Clay Travis, he of the CBS Spin on Sports column, as he gives law school selection advice. We link to this without comment, other than to say that given that Messr. Travis has abandoned the law to become a full-time sports writer, UVA Law should retroactively grant him admission.

Re-defining “big” in Durham.

THE STORY EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT
Hey, Wojo? Maybe You Should Sit This One Out.

Coach K’s recent recruiting failures with big men – see Patrick Patterson and Greg Monroe – have sparked a chicken-and-egg argument. Are the trees not interested because no Duke big man has succeeded at the next level, from Jay Bilas to Christian Laettner to Sheldon Williams with every Cherokee Parks in between? Or is it because the coaching triumvirate of Dawkins, Collins and Wojociechowski (most recently in charge of post players) had no idea how to coach bigs?

Consider the egg scrambled – in the wake of Dawkins’ departure for Palo Alto, Coach K hired former Blue Devil forward Nate James to fill his spot on the bench. What remains to be seen is if this will have any discernible impact, as James comes in with no coaching experience. In fact, this resume looked better suited for reality television:

After graduating from Duke and playing in the Carolinas Basketball League, James spent parts of five seasons playing in Bosnia, Brazil, France, Germany, Greece, Holland, Hungary, Italy, Japan, the Philippines, Poland and Russia.

While some might consider the career a world history tour, James didn’t exactly praise the vagabond experience. Instead, he talked about eating nothing but rice and noodles — with chopsticks only — in Japan for several months; playing in a freezing gym in Bosnia; and having to eat cow tongue in Russia.

So, future Blue Devil recruits, know what Duke can now offer. Even if your playing experience can’t get you in the NBA and your Duke degree can’t get you a job, Coach James can help you parlay your experiences in Durham into a spot on The Amazing Race.

TWO STORIES THAT INTERESTED US FOR NO GOOD REASON
Something is Afoot in the District

Player movements galore in our nation’s capital yesterday, as Karl Hobbs kicked two players off GW’s team. Role players, true, but two players nonetheless from a team that only managed nine wins last season. Which makes one wonder what “certain expectations” they failed to meet to warrant dismissal, since one could argue that Hobbs and all of his charges failed to meet the basic “certain expectation” of finishing higher than next-to-last in the A-10.

Meanwhile, further into the snooty part of the Northwest Quadrant, a second potential starter transfers away from the Hoyas. With the announced transfer of Doc Rivers’ kid, Georgetown will be down to four returning players with any significant playing time. Greg Monroe better be really, really good, or JTIII will need to bust out celebrity dance moves again.